Brian Speaks On How He Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: February 15, 2003

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

"I met my wife LaQuinda (aka Quinn) in Memphis on Beale St. I was in town for a music conference and was just there for a few hours with some other musician friends, and I saw her outside the theater housing the showcase that we were attending. The first thing that I remember is that when I saw her, she made made my heart skip a beat (I know that's corny, but I can't describe it any other way). It was one of those situations where I knew that if I didn't introduce myself and ask if we could exchange numbers, I would be kicking myself for who knows how long. When I asked she smiled and said 'No', but agreed to exchange email addresses instead. I thought to myself, 'She's cautious, smart...OK it's better than a 'Get outta my face', right?

I found out through email/instant messaging that she was a junior at Christian Brothers University there in Memphis and that she was 22 (eight years and a few months younger than I was). When it came to the age difference, she didn't care and I really didn't care. It was also interesting that she was the only girl in a family of six (yeah five brothers!!!). But, as soon as I thought we were heading towards being friends as opposed to acquaintances, I didn't hear from her...for six months.

As frustrating as it was, I had recently learned (the hard way) that you have to let things happen sometimes as opposed to making things happen and that you also must learn the difference between the two.

While I was at work that September---well, not working; more like fooling around on Black Planet----I saw the little icon showing that I had a 'friend' online. I sat there for a second because I didn't know whether to 'speak' or just ignore it since it had been so long since we had talked. I mean six months is a long time for things to happen....or not happen.

Once again I felt that urge so I sent a brief 'Hello' message and awaited a response. After an hour or so, she responded with the phone number that I had been denied earlier. We talked until almost 5am the next morning and then every night...for the next several months.

I went to Memphis to visit for the weekend and then we drove back to Nashville (really ridiculous if you know how raggedy my car at the time was). We talked the whole way to Nashville. Then, on the way back to Memphis (around three hours), we didn't say one word to each other. That was when I knew she was the one...there is a level of comfort I think has to be reached in order to take a ride like that and no one says 'What's wrong?' or 'Why so quiet?'

I realized I never wanted to be apart from her again. I proposed before I came home, she said 'Yes' in less than three seconds. That was December 2002, and we were married February 15^th, 2003.”

What he loves about her mind: I love her resolve and her determination..she's literally fearless. She was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis about two years ago and the medication kept causing an infection in her breasts. I've watched her go through seven surgeries over an 11-month span. They are countless and very painful procedures, but I don't remember hearing her complain once.

What he loves about her body: I love the way her eyes squint when she smiles... the sway of her hips when she walks.

What he loves about her spirit: Her vision is contagious. She's always noticing the beauty in something first. She looks at obstacles as an opportunity for God to do something amazing. I was laid off from my job of almost three years two weeks before our wedding day and she didn't hesitate to say, 'Don't even think about putting it (the wedding) off because of something that small!” What's not to love?

Brian's advice to single men about marriage:

“My advice would be to communicate, communicate, communicate! Since we were in a long distance relationship, all we had was conversation and I'm very certain that has gotten us through some of the rougher times...the fact that we are able to communicate on so many levels. Also, get into the habit of praying together. Marriage is ordained by God whereby the two of you become ONE. You would be amazed at what the Lord will reveal to you during that prayer time.”