Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Casey Speaks On How She Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: August 25, 2007

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

Chris and I had actually been attending the same church for years. I would see him at church often, and sometimes we would speak in passing...but that was it. I never really gave him a second look because I thought he was married, and he was...for a while.

Our mutual friend, Kevin was instrumental in getting Chris and me together. He has been a great friend to both of us. Our first few conversations on the phone were through Kevin. In early April of 2006, things really began to change in my life.

It was my first Sunday back in town after attending a funeral out of town. It was after church and I was just about to leave when I saw Chris. Being the gentleman that he is, he asked if he could call me. I said 'yes', of course. We knew that we would at the very least be good friends, but neither of us realized what God was about to do and how fast He would do it. So he called me, and I was, of course, happy to hear from him. Our conversations were---and still are real, open and honest. We talked about everything, including our past relationships. It was as if our life experiences were parallel. We both overcame a hurtful relationship that could have made us bitter, but we kept our faith and hope in God to bless us with our mates in His timing. We like to look at those experiences as pain for a purpose. We talked over the phone for a little under a month, had our first date May 21, 2006 and we have been together ever since.

Our openness to friendship quickly blossomed into a wonderful God-centered relationship. I knew very early on that we would be more than 'just friends' one day very soon. He was and is a true man of God. What is on the inside of him, his love for Christ and his character, is what captured my heart. We truly recognized and acknowledged that God always comes first and our foundation began with Him. It was and still is our desire as we walk into our destiny together to honor God in ALL that we do...so much that we waited until we were married to come together as one flesh. Neither one of us were virgins, and have made plenty of mistakes in our past, but we made it clear from the beginning that we were going to honor God with our relationship. We set boundaries for ourselves, and in all honesty, it wasn’t always easy, but being that Chris had been married before, and I had experienced my own challenges in life, we could look back at past mistakes having learned from them, and not make them again. We truly want God to bless our union.

Chris asked me to marry him on March 21, 2007. We were just talking that evening and he asked me to marry him, and of course I said yes. He actually proposed to me without a ring and we began our planning process without it. I was fine, until people started getting wind of the engagement and wanted to see the ring. Being engaged and planning our wedding without a ring initially was not a problem for me. My problem was feeling as if I had to answer all of the questions that people had about the ring. Wanting to see it, wanting to know all the details, but I didn’t have my ring yet. Chris and I were solid, but the questioning and pressure from others made me throw out the window all the reasons we were not rushing to buy the ring. It was hard during what should have been an exciting time. I learned that at times, in order for things to be real (to others), people have to see something (a ring) to solidify the, 'Oh this is for real?' At times I found myself defending why I didn’t have a ring yet, instead of enjoying the months leading up to my wedding. It’s funny because even knowing why we were doing things the way we were---the comments and pressure of others were really getting to me. I had to pray that pressure and concern off of me, and trust me it was a process.

The actual ring proposal was August 4, 2007, two weeks after I returned from Germany. Which is a story within itself: July was a very busy month for me. It was definitely not all work and no play, but boy was it a whirlwind of a month. I celebrated my birthday, bridal shower the next day, then off to Germany the very next weekend for two weeks. I arrived back in the States on July 28
th, greeted by the scorching Nashville heat. You’re supposed to gain time when you come back from an overseas, but I tell you, I was beat down. Chris informed me that the following Saturday, our friend, Kevin would be taking us to dinner. It was my first day back, I got to see my honey and the kids, and I was happy, so dinner sounded great.

Day two, Sunday, my body clock was totally off. I got through the day, but I honestly don’t know how. Later during the week, my loving fiancé reminded me that on Saturday, August 4, 2007, we were going to dinner. UGH!!!… I just wanted to sleep. Not to mention the fact that I had to work half the day at the base, rush to Brentwood to change and meet Chris...then go to a wedding before we went to dinner. I was grumpy about going to dinner. I put up a minor, 'OK' and maybe a little major fuss because I was tired, and couldn’t believe Chris committed us to going to dinner knowing that I had to work EARLY the next morning. Chris offered to cancel, but I knew that would have been rude, so we had a nice, quiet ride to Ruth's Chris.

So we arrive and Kevin meets us inside. He was, in my opinion, acting pretty stressed out. I love Kevin, so I, of course, I wanted to make sure he was OK. He told me that something he had eaten was making him feel funny. Hmmm… I still wasn’t putting two-and-two together. I asked Chris if he knew what was going on, and he simply said, 'I don’t know, maybe we need to pray for him.' By then I was beyond concerned.

We were finally seated, and Kevin’s phone started ringing and he seemed even more bothered. I just flat out told him that he was working too hard and he needed to relax. A couple of seconds later, our waiter came and attempted to take our order. He was interrupted when two police officers walked in. I grew up in L.A., so when those police officers walked in, the looks on their face told me that they were not coming to eat. My total focus was on the police officers. One had a piece of paper in his hand and began talking to the host.

Then came the big hush…In a very serious voice he asked, 'Is there a Ms. Casey Tyler here?” My exact thoughts: 'OH SHOOT, MY COURT DATE ISN’T UNTIL OCTOBER!' (I got a speeding ticket a couple of months ago). So now, the restaurant was pretty much silent, and I’m looking like a deer caught in headlights. So he proceeded to ask the question again, and I was still simply staring at him. My exact thoughts: 'My name is Chaniqua Taylor!' Mind you, never once did I look at Kevin or Chris; my total focus was on the police officer. The officer and the host talked some more, then the host pointed at me… what the heck!?! Then the officer looked at me and asked, 'Are you Ms. Casey Tyler?' OH MY GOSH! I could barely muster up a 'yes'.

My exact thoughts: 'I’m going to jail...they are going to handcuff me in front of all of these people… but my court date isn’t until October… where the heck is that pink piece of paper?'

So he looked at me and said in a not-so-nice voice, 'Ma’am?' , and my answer with big eyes was 'Yes.' He again proceeded and told me that he was going to have to place me under arrest unless I promised to be a good wife.

OK, that is MY version. Chris’s version is that he read me my rights. Hey look, when you think you are about to go to jail, some things get filtered out. Once I heard the last part, 'Unless you promise to be a good wife', and Chris stood up, reached in is pocked and pulled out the ring, I was in tears! The entire restaurant was loud with cheers. He got me … he totally surprised me with the ring proposal, and my ring is absolutely beautiful! It was indeed worth the wait.

We were married August 25, 2007.


What she loves about his mind: I love the fact that Chris is a praying man who chews of the meat of God’s word daily and he trust God at His word. He is an awesome teacher and I enjoy our conversations whether they be trivial or deep.

What she loves about his body: I love to snuggle up next to him and lay my head on his chest. When he wraps his arms around me I feel so safe. He also has an awesome smile.

What she loves about his spirit: Chris has a unwavering love for Christ and for others. His character as a man of God, his passion to spread the gospel and lead others to Christ will be remember much more than the eight years that he played pro-football. He was an awesome athlete, but he is a far greater man of God.


Casey's advice to single women about marriage:

“As a single woman, let God be your first love. Trust Him in and His timing of you meeting your mate. Be about His business while you are waiting. Know who you are and learn to feel complete as a single woman. Guard your heart, your body, and your space. Make wise decisions about where and who you spend your time with. Deal with your baggage of past relationships, step back and ask God to help you see what went wrong. If you were wrong, repent and forgive self, if you were hurt, forgive. Stop jumping from one situation to the next to simply fill a void.

LEARN from past mistakes and hurts. Warning signs are usually there in the beginning; sometimes we just choose to ignore them. That is why it is so important to stay close to the Lord, and learn to hear His calming voice of instruction. Familiar is not always good… if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a dern duck not an eagle! As women of God, we have to stop filling in blanks for men who have not chosen us. A true man of God will value your worth and want to please God instead of himself. Don’t settle and realize that it doesn’t take a man years to figure out if you are his wife. ”

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