Wednesday, February 18, 2009

James Speaks On How He Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: November 27 and December 1, 1973

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

Corlis and I met in 9th grade. She was 'the new girl' at the school who was from out of town and had moved to Baton Rouge, LA. We were in the same home room and she wanted nothing to do with me. My twin brother and I were class clowns and ran with the 'jocks'. My best friend, Anthony had crushes on Corlis and her friend, Terri. They were both skinny as pool cues. When my father found out that I liked 'that skinny girl', he said her legs looked like 'socks on a rooster.'

Corlis really had nothing to do with me for about a year. That may have been because I would go to the window of her classes and tell her I was going to marry her. I was stuck on her. I had an old girlfriend of mine arrange to have Corlis come to our neighborhood for a visit so I could meet up with them. We got to walk together and talk. Later that summer, one of our classmates had a pool party at her house and we met up there. While we were sitting around talking, Corlis came and sat on the carpet at my feet. I've never stopped loving her since that night.

We met in 1969 in 9th grade. I was 13 and she was 14-years-old. We started 'going together' in 10th grade in 1970. Corlis' father was sent to Vietnam (he was a career Army officer) and she left Baton Rouge and went to her hometown of Des Moines, Iowa. This was our 11th grade year. Corlis graduated early from high school and returned to Baton Rouge to attend Southern University while I completed my senior year of high school.

The summer following my high school graduation in 1973, I was determined not to let Corlis get away again so I rented her an apartment. She was 18 but I was only 17-years-old. We leased the apartment in her name and I worked a couple of jobs to take care of her. I turned 18- years-old during my freshman year of college. This was October, 1973.

We were married in November of 1973.

We've been married now for thirty-five years. There are tears in my eyes as I recall this for sharing with you. I love her so. She has always been able to bring into my life, my personality, my decision making, my undertaking what I was lacking. My love for her has made and continues to make me a better man. We were both mature for our ages, yet we both needed another to bring the strength and security needed to face life. We've been facing life...loving life...doing life together for just about all our lives.


What he loves about her mind: I love that she's never let me push her around in life. She's been clear and honest about what who she is and what boundaries she's established. This makes me respect her - her tenderness and her firmness.

What he loves about her body: The softness of her heart toward me and others has softened my soul so that I've lost the need to protect myself from her.

What he loves about her spirit: I TRUST Corlis. Many women do not understand that so often men who love are just as afraid of being hurt as women are. For 35 years Corlis has not betrayed my trust. For that I am infinitely grateful. Some men consider themselves blessed for finding the woman they believe they can live with. I'm blessed because I've found the woman I can't live without.


James's advice to single men about marriage:

“The true joy in marriage is in giving to one whom you trusted to spend your life with. No matter what I give to her---even when it's in short supply (time, money, energy, etc.)---God always gives me more of it than I had before I gave to her.”

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