Noelle Speaks On How She Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: October 18, 2008

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“I knew I was going to marry Marcel before I met him. I read a blog about someone who never wanted to get married.

I, on the other hand, was quite anxious to get married. In fact, I did so when everyone recommended that I didn’t. Several years later, the marriage ended and after some more years of struggling with romantic relationships, I told God that I wasn’t going to date again until I understood in my soul that He was enough. I had spent a lifetime trying to convince myself of that fact, but continued to look for a romantic relationship...and ended up continuously frustrated. I decided to stop fighting and get quiet.

It would be hard to overstate how difficult this was. I felt a pain almost like a physical withdrawal. Long story short, I stuck with it and it took about a year and a half. During that time, I spoke with men from my family and co-workers and that was it. (I should add to this story that there was a lot of therapy, support groups, prayer, and accountability in this mix. I was not able to do this on my own.) At some point during that year, my mom asked about the possibility of me dating someone of our faith. My first husband had been a pastor in our faith and I think I told mom not to hold her breath or something equally rude. Out of some guilt, I agreed that when I was dating again, I would look at one of the singles' websites for people in our faith.

I’m still not sure when or exactly how it happened, but one morning I woke up and found myself at peace with the idea of being alone---even if that was for the rest of my life. I went out on a few dates and found myself thinking at times, 'I could be home cleaning my house.' Not because the guys weren’t nice, but I didn’t need it anymore.

I made another equally drastic decision. I decided I wasn’t going to date again until I found the man I would marry. My life was full and rich and I didn’t want to spend even a few hours on something that wasn’t a part of God’s plan for me. I had enough 'practice dating'. I decided that God would pick and until He notified me, I wasn’t interested.

A few months later, to fulfill my promise to my mother, I posted a profile on a website. I didn’t pay for a subscription and never checked the emails. But my conscience was clear. At one point I got an email with the name of my favorite band when I was a preteen. Of course, I had to check the email in case it was my adolescent crush who had come to sweep me off my feet.

It wasn’t Kevin, but it was Marcel.

He had listed his blog address and out of curiosity I checked it. (www.thecarioca.blogspot.com) I was quite impressed and after reading one of his posts (about a homeless man who had cut him off and his reaction to that), I was impressed by this man of passion who could also admit his mistakes. After reading a few more posts, I looked down at Izzy, my trusty canine sidekick and told her, 'This could be the guy.'

Marcel and I began to communicate by email a few times a week, and after a little time, we figured out that he lived five miles from my brother and aunt in Los Angeles. Marcel offered to pay for half the ticket the next time I visited my brother...and the rest as they say...is history.

We have been married now for a little over four months. I am consistently amazed by the difference in marriage from when I picked before and when I let God pick the man and the timing now. It was worth the wait and every moment of heartache. The joy is as much about knowing that God is my all as it is about this wonderful man I’ve pledged my life to. From this place I don’t operate from fear, wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. I am free--- body and soul---to love this man God gave me.”

What she loves about his mind: I like how goal-oriented he is and how he challenges me to grow. We have similar ways of looking at the world and are a fantastic team. He also challenges me to keep my goals in front of me and not to get discouraged. He believes in himself---and in me.

What she loves about his body: I love his cute “white boy” butt. I love that he’s tall and even in heels and pushing 6’, I fit underneath his chin. I love his green eyes and hate him for his model-long eyelashes.

What she loves about his spirit: He has an integrity that stuns me. He listens to God above all else. He is a leader in our home and is also infinitely tender with me.

Noelle's advice to single women about marriage:

“Let God pick your husband…period. Anything else will cause you untold heartache. Allowing God’s timing will open you up for all the things you dreamed of and some you never dared hope for.”