Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Ryan Speaks On How He Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: May 31, 1997

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

I grew up in Southern California (surfer boy) and needless to say, by my 20th birthday, I had not developed the best reputation in my town. Ironically, I was voted, 'Most Likely to Stay Single' and 'Best Kisser' (I guess I got too much practice) just two years earlier in my senior year of high school.

I never showed much respect for the fairer sex, and it was evident that this behavior was making it difficult to keep a girlfriend (the longest relationship I had to this point was five months). Anyway, I was given a great opportunity to move away and play football at UT Martin in West Tennessee on a scholarship. Not wanting to carry my bad reputation with me to a new place, I decided to make a pact with God. I broke down and repented for my behavior and pleaded with God to take me from my state of misery and loneliness. I promised to use the opportunity he gave me to make a start fresh and to make sure that the reputation I created was one above reproach.

As part of the football team, it did not take long before opportunities were presented to go down the old road of womanizing and sexual misconduct. True to my promise to God, I would not kiss or carry on with anyone I did not believe was marriage potential. After a few months in my new environment, God’s grace was delivered.

My future bride, Kristi, was revealed to me during football practice. Kristi, who was the captain of the pom squad, was dancing her heart out right in front of me and the rest of the team. She was breathtaking! A sweet Southern Belle with big, beautiful eyes and eyelashes...and a fantastic figure. I couldn’t wait to talk to her and see if this was just a physical attraction...or possibly my match.

I finally ran into her a few days later and much to my surprise, several of her roommates were the very same girls that I turned down at the football parties. It was very clear to me that if I had not resisted this temptation, Kristi would have heard about it and never would have considered dating me. My reputation was still spotless and the courting began.

We dated for three months before I knew that she was the one. I was convinced that our faith in God and our plans for our family were aligned. She was my best friend and I had no interest in spending time with anyone but her.

I proposed three months later on our six-month anniversary, and we were married one year later. It will be 12 years in May (31st), and it has not always been easy. Many times I have felt helpless and even other times hopeless. However, one thing that I believe has gotten me this far and I am convinced will keep me in the game until the end is a commitment to never except failure. My words to my wife when we first discussed the possibility of getting married were 'Divorce is not an option'. I remember saying things like 'You might hate my guts and I might hate yours, but we better find a way to get along or it is going to be a miserable life'. I REFUSE to quit on what I promised her and God the day we got married: Till Death Do We Part.


What he loves about her mind: I love my wife’s sense of humor. It is corny like mine.

What he loves about her body: I love my wife’s eyes. They are incredible.

What he loves about her spirit: I love my wife’s pure heart. She truly lives in purity and holiness and this is great encouragement to me.


Ryan's advice to single men about marriage:

When failing is not an option, it is amazing how you begin to work at fixing things. I truly love my wife with all of my heart and now I know what love really is. I tell my children (somehow we wound up with four) that love is an action, not an emotion. We love by selflessly putting someone else’s needs ahead of our own. I have learned that by doing things for my wife---such as doing the dishes or bathing the children---I am showing her that I love her. Telling her I love her is important, but not nearly as important as showing her. This was something that took me many years to figure out, but once I got it, it changed our relationship. It also changed my relationship with others.”

No comments:

Post a Comment