So, How Did YOU Know?

Kristy Speaks On How She Knew

2009-05-27T12:52:00.002-05:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: March 20, 2004

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“I was interning at a magazine and Roland came to visit for the summer. When I first met him, I thought, 'This guy is too serious.' At our first meeting, he advised me . 'If you did not come to work, you can go home...Yeah, that’s what I thought.' His version is a little different, but really how many ways can you say that differently and it sound any better? Anyway, we got over that first impression and continued to work together at the magazine.

While working there, we both decided to start looking for a car. Well, I was driving a 1995 Sky Blue Lincoln Continental (no air in summer and no heat in winter-LOL) and he was driving a Pinto...or something like that. One day he mentioned that he was going to start looking for a new car and I said something like, 'I need a new car myself.' And he asked me to go with him to the car dealership. So, I guess that was our first unofficial date: browsing the car lots.

We went out for the next few weekends, checking out cars and our friendship starting blossoming from there. Romantic? Not exactly, but we started talking on the phone more and really developed a great friendship. Shortly after that, he was preparing to go back to school in Ohio and we had to decide what was to become of our friendship. We decided to continue keeping in touch with one another to determine how we felt about each other after we were apart. Now, I would love to say that everything was awesome and we had no glitches along the way, but honestly, we were both figuring our relationship out. Neither one of us initially thought that we would get married. We actually both thought that we knew either who we were going to marry or what they would look like...and neither one of us fit that mold.

But the more we talked and visited one another, our plans changed and we decided to officially date. During that process, God showed us his desire for our relationship and we said, 'Yes.' We dated for three years, graduated college and got married in 2004. Looking back, we developed an awesome friendship that is a great benefit in our marriage. We have now been married for five years, have two kids (1 & 2 yrs old) and my husband is completing his last year of law school. I say all that to say, we all have plans of what our lives will be like after we get married; we think our knight is going to come and rescue us from our singleness, financial troubles and loneliness. But no matter whether married or single, God is the only source for peace. Marriage is great—with the right person at the right time!”

What she loves about his mind: Roland is very smart and always interested in learning.

What she loves about his body: I love that he's fit and cares about physical fitness. And I love his smile.

What she loves about his spirit: He is a consistent, spirit-led man who desires for God to be glorified in His life .

Kristy's advice to single women about marriage:

“Life happens, looks change, finances have peaks and valleys and all of these can take place one after another or all at one time. So, it’s important to know that you’re getting married for the right reasons; to the right person God has for you. How do you know it’s the right person? God speaks. It might not be at the first date or at first sight, but God desires that we know His will. He will make it clear. Just believe in God's goodness and the performance of his Word.”

Lee Speaks On How He Knew

2009-05-27T12:31:00.003-05:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: October 6, 2001

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“The first time I met Kimberly was at the skating center in Rivergate at a youth function. I had worked with the youth at our church for several years and I was transitioning out of that department and into working with the single’s ministry at our church. She had just moved here with her job from Atlanta and she had recently joined our church and was beginning to transition into working with the youth department. One of my lifelong friends, Arnetta Woodard, introduced me to Kimberly and asked if I could take her around the rink a couple of times. I said 'sure.' I did not think anything of it...actually, I thought she seemed nice and she looked so young that I thought she may have been a youth. After a couple of times around, she was very gracious and said, 'I am not that good at skating and you seem to really enjoy it, so you can just take me to the side on the next round.' I said, 'Okay' and that was it.

Fast forward about a year and I met her again, as I found out that we had lots of mutual friends in common. So, we became friends. She actually dated one of my old friends at that point, but they didn't continue dating when he moved to another city. So, time passed and we continued to be friends. Then one year I needed a date for our Pastor’s Anniversary Banquet. I had seen her dance, act and work with the youth at our church. I became increasingly drawn to her. So, I asked her if she would like to go to the banquet with me and she said she would let me know. See, I was proactive and asked her about two-and-a-half months before the event. So, a month went by and still no answer. I followed up with her and asked if she had made a decision and she said that she would go with me. Two weeks later, I said, 'Well, I do not want the first time we hang out to be at the banquet since there would be other people at the table and I did not want to be rude and ignore all of them, so maybe we should hang out before the banquet.' She said, 'Okay.' So, I took her to see Madame Butterfly, her first opera and mine. We went to dinner afterwards. I think we actually made it to the movies before the banquet as well. See, even white men have game. (smile)

It seemed like the more I hung out with her, the more time I wanted to spend with her. It got to the point where I wanted to give my heart to her and I could not. So, I broke things off with her and tried to come to terms with this blockage. It was a word from the Lord that I had received about a particular young lady being my wife and we had dated before for about five years. I knew that He had told me that she was the one. The only problem was she had since all that time, married someone else, divorced him and remarried. And all I was left with was what God had told me. So, I tried my best to process through that. I am too analytical some times for my own good.

I kept missing Kimberly though, and so I decided to call her again. I did. We talked on the phone from time-to-time. Months passed and we began hanging out again and I was growing to love Kimberly even more. Yet, I was still struggling with this word. So, it got to the point of where I had to make a decision because I did not want to keep stringing this woman along and it was not fair for her to be with a man who could not give her all of himself. So, we cried and prayed that night and God spoke to my spirit and told me NOT to make a decision to end the relationship until I spoke with three people. My response was, 'Well, if I can hear you tell me to talk with three people, then why can’t you just tell me what they are going to say?' He did not reply and His silence spoke volumes to me.

So, I shared that with Kimberly and we remained prayerful. I made the appointments to speak with the three people and each one of them gave me a piece of the puzzle to help me process through where I was. The one story that I will share with you that one of the individuals shared with me that brought me so much peace was that God changed His mind about a decision He had made to make Saul the King of Israel. So, God refused Saul as king (because of his disobedience) and chose David to be king, instead. For some reason, I had never seen it as God changing His mind, but He did. And so, what was revealed to me was that He (God) was taking me (the kingdom of Israel) from Saul (the lady he had spoken a word to me about marrying) and giving me to David (Kimberly) because she knew how to take care of the kingdom that was inside of me.

Well, that was all I needed to hear. But to further confirm His word, He also gave me a dream where I was on this operating table and I was cognizant of the fact that Kimberly was the surgeon. She cut me open and then left. Feeling abandoned I got up and put my insides back in and held them and went to look for her. As I started out the door, she came in and hurried me back to the operating table and I said, 'I thought you left me.' She said, 'No, I just need to get some tools that I needed to finish.' So, I woke up and immediately the Lord gave me an understanding of my dream. He said that I did not have to fear her finding out what was on the inside of me, because He needed to reveal that to her and I could trust her. He said that in order for her to get to where He needed for her to be, she needed what was on the inside of me and in order for me to get where He needed for me to be, I needed what was on the inside of her.

From that moment, I have never looked back. There is so much more, but I will stop here. We have been married now for nearly eight years and we have a three-year-old daughter, Princess Rose McGahey (that is another testimony unto itself). ”

What he loves about her mind: I like the way she processes details and makes sense of the world from her perspective. My wife was the council president and graduated valedictorian of her class in high school. She is extremely unassuming and brilliant. Although she has so much to brag about in terms of her intellect and accomplishments, that is not her way. That is one of the reasons why God put me in her life- to brag on the awesome woman that she is and all that she brings to the table.

What he loves about her body: Aside from the fact that she was the homecoming queen in college and after you get passed the fact that she is “5'5” with brown eyes and smile like the sunrise”, have you ever heard the song, “Brick House” by the Commodores (or I may be dating myself and telling my age here)? Enough said.

What he loves about her spirit: Try as you might, you will never find a woman more gentle, forgiving, nurturing, strong and the personification of First Corinthians 13:1-8.

Lee's advice to single men about marriage:

“Know who God is. Know who God says you are. Know what your passion and purpose are in life. Know how she is supposed to complement you and vice versa. Find the one who will treat you like a king, even when or if you have to live with her in the public housing projects (humility)-and once you find her, work hard to love her, protect her and provide for her the best palace you can- she deserves it...After all, she will be your queen!”

Tyler Speaks On How He Knew

2009-03-04T20:56:00.001-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: September 2, 2007

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“I could go through a sequence of events that led up to me and my wife’s meeting but she covered that (see below this story); so let me get right to the moment that I knew I wanted her to be my wife.

We had spent a little over half a year getting to know one another with no talk of ever hooking up. Conversation is where it all began. Sure I saw pictures, heard her music, spent weird hours chatting online, a few phone conversations… right? I still had never met her face-to-face.

Finally, we met at a music conference in Orlando. The first meeting there was a ton of butterflies, but it was truly like seeing someone I’d known for a long time-I just had forgotten how beautiful she was. Fast forwarding through the days we spent together side-by-side, it hit me the early morning of taking her back to the airport. I literally felt nauseous that she was leaving back to Tennessee. In another day, I would be back in Michigan and the reality of I might be too scared to leave my home with my daughter and move 500 miles to a place I have nothing, started sounding like a sad love song in the making...it was coming to an end and felt sick that she was leaving.

The ride to the airport, I bribed a friend to taxi us while we spent our last few moments together. We were both making promises to call, email and maybe even a couple of trips back and forth, but to me it wasn’t going to be enough. I decided during that ride to the airport that I was going to change my life and chase a dream with the woman I fell in love with. I went back to Michigan and 4-5 months later I took my daughter and myself to Nashville.”

What he loves about her mind: I love many things about my wife and learning more everyday, so I’ll tell you three of her qualities and save the rest for myself. My wife’s mind is devoted to her familia. I not only love her, but I respect her for that.

What he loves about her body: My wife’s body…I love it all (come on, that’s a set up if I ever read one. LOL!).

What he loves about her spirit: A great quality she has is her unwavering faith in all things good which is a perfect balance for someone like me who for many years had very little.

Tyler's advice to single men about marriage:

“Stop looking for love… Instead practice what you would do if found it. When you want to become a better person because of someone, that’s when you know you should fall!”

Krystel Speaks On How She Knew

2009-02-27T16:50:00.002-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: September 2, 2007

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“When I first met my husband, I was at the very end of a bad relationship. It was emotionally abusive and draining and after two years, I couldn’t take it anymore. I packed his stuff up, threw it onto his mama’s front porch and told him I didn’t want to see him again. I was done. I had a daughter to worry about, and so another disappointing (and possibly abusive) relationship was out of the question. This was my time to reflect and eliminate all of the noise in my life. I was NOT looking when I met my husband. But little did I know that my vow to never be in a bad relationship again would hold true!

I met my husband through an online artist community; kind of a precursor to MySpace Music. I was browsing the forums and saw a post from him that asked other artists to critique his music. So I critiqued, and asked him to return the favor. After that, we began to chat via email and IM over the next few months, and we both assumed it was platonic at this point. He was a single dad and a musician. I was a single mom and also a musician. But I would jump on the computer as soon as I got home to see if he was online. I knew that something was going on in my soul, but I didn’t yet understand it. Something felt different about this person, but still I resisted. It didn’t matter though; the seed was planted.

I didn’t tell anyone about my conversations with him, we just quietly and slowly got to know each other through these chats and emails. It’s amazing how a message can be read back over and over again, each time sinking in deeper and giving more insight into a person’s thoughts and values. He sent me a CD of his and I sent him one back. This was the only physical/ material connection that we had with each other at that point.

The physical attraction was there; he had seen pictures of me and I’d seen pictures of him and he commented on how he thought I was attractive, but we hadn’t yet met in person and we hadn’t yet spoke on the phone. He lived in Michigan and I lived in Tennessee. I knew he felt the same way. He hinted just enough to make me believe that his feelings were there as well.

One day, he emailed me about a music conference he was attending in Orlando. He suggested I go to it to network and...oh yeah, to meet him. I told him that sounded cool. I’d see what I could do. Inside though, I was determined to find a way by any means necessary to get to Orlando. I had to meet this man! I didn’t know what it would bring, and my friends and family thought I was crazy for even considering it: What if he’s some crazy stalker on the Internet? What if he doesn’t look anything like his pictures? I already knew him though. That seed had grown into something bigger and this trip would just confirm the feelings I had been trying to suppress.

On April 9, 2003, I arrived by plane in Orlando and took a cab to my hotel room. He said he would call me when he and his friends got to the hotel. Around 10p.m. that night, I got a call to my room. It was him! He asked if I wanted to get something to eat. Of course, I did. There was a knock on the door. I opened it and there he was. I gave him a big hug and a rush of emotion came over me.

Over the next three days, we talked into the early hours of the morning. By the time I left for the airport, we were figuring out a way for him to move to Nashville. That’s when I knew he was my husband. Four months later, he and his daughter moved to Nashville.

We were married on September 2, 2007 and honeymooned in Orlando, FL.”

What she loves about his mind: His grounded and sensible nature. He helps keep me from making rash decisions and teaches me how to take things a step at a time. And he’s not materialistic. It’s his most godly quality.

What she loves about his body: His deep blue eyes. They’re so striking, I can see them from across a room and they take my breath away.

What she loves about his spirit: His self-confidence. When he’s able to tear up over a touching news story or TV show and not be embarrassed, I know he has confidence in himself and our relationship.

Krystel's advice to single women about marriage:

“Ladies, listen to your God-given instincts. We too often ignore them for fear of hurting someone’s feelings or not acting as others would believe we should act. Don’t let fear hold you back from a joyful life, whether that’s with a new relationship or preventing a destructive one.”

Chelsea Speaks On How She Knew

2009-02-27T04:48:00.002-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: September 7, 2001

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“I met my husband through his Aunt Rhonda. I began working with Rhonda in September of 1999, only two months after I took a pledge of celibacy and TOTALLY rededicated my life to Yahweh. After only three weeks of working together, she inquired of my 'status'. I told her that I was single and was not looking. She told me that she liked my spirit and thought I would be a good match for her nephew who resided in Massachusetts. We continued to talk and before the long, the conversation switched to a different topic, and that was the last that I had heard of her nephew.

In June of 2000, Rhonda informed me that she had had a telephone conversation with her nephew the night before and had mentioned me to him. She stated that she intended to give him my phone number, but had forgotten my phone number at work. She entreated me to call him. I totally refused at first...only to find his name, email address and phone number being shoved in my hand, and me being shoved into my office with a plea of a promise that I would call or email him that same day. After vacillating about if calling him would be appropriate and the right thing to do, I acquiesced to her wishes, and promised that I would send an email that day.

I prayed before typing and sending the email. My prayer was simple. 'Give me the right words to say, and if this is not YOUR will, don’t allow him to respond.' I received a response in less than one hour. The response was both funny and captivating.

Daniel began emailing me daily, and I continued to pray BEFORE RESPONDING to his emails. My prayer was simple: 'Give me the right words to say.' Daniel eventually requested that we meet online to begin our 'Instant Messaging' (IM) relationship. I was so impressed by the simple-yet-IMPORTANT factor that he would establish the meeting time, and always met me ON TIME. He was NEVER LATE. In fact, he was often WAITING FOR ME.

After two weeks of emailing and IM each other, Daniel asked if he could have my phone number so that he may call and hear my voice. (Yes, ladies…it took me two weeks to give up the digits.) You see, along with my vow of celibacy, I also vowed to move at a snail’s pace with whomever I became interested in. I’ll have to share my 'From Singlehood to Marriedhood' testimony at a different time.

The first telephone conversation was nerve-racking for me because it was then that I decided to reveal my vow of celibacy to Daniel. I decided to reveal this during our first telephone conversation because the phone call itself was personal in that we were hearing one another’s voice for the first time, which had a certain feeling of intimacy that IM and emailing did not have. Additionally, I decided to reveal my celibacy as a second part of my prayer, which was also simple: 'If he will not respect my vow of celibacy, then let this be our last conversation.'

After disclosing my vow of celibacy to Daniel, he simply stated, 'Well, I’ll have to think about that.'

The conversation continued and two hours later, we were saying goodbye. Although I was unsure if I would ever hear from Daniel again, I was sure that I had done the right thing of disclosing my celibacy to him. Daniel emailed and called the next day. We continued emailing, IM'ing and talking on the phone for another four weeks before he even saw a single photograph of me. By this time, Daniel, in his own words, stated, 'I don’t care if you look like Sha-Nay-Nay, because you have a brotha sprung already. After all, Sha-Nay-Nay needs love, too.' Isn’t that the most hilarious thing you have heard!? We laughed for days about that, and sometimes still laugh about it! Ladies, it did not matter to Daniel what I looked like because he was truly getting to know ME first, as opposed to the exterior of me first.

To make the long of a story short, Daniel decided to propose to me in August of 2000 (Yeah, you did the math right). He proposed only two months after receiving my initial email. We decided to elope because most importantly, that is what I have always wanted to do, and secondly to minimize negative feedback from relatives, friends and associates. Daniel’s single request was that we have a formal wedding that would be officiated by a pastor. Our wedding date was September 7, 2001---the weekend of Labor Day. Daniel flew from Massachusetts to California on September 6^th. Our INITIAL meeting in the airport was magical-yet-surreal. All we could do was smile, grin, hug and kiss one another. Others knew we were in love. Passersby would make nice comments about how good we looked together, how happy we looked and how much we beamed. We planned the perfect wedding. IT WAS A DAY THAT I SHALL NEVER FORGET AND NEVER WISH TO REPEAT WITH ANYONE ELSE.

I knew Daniel was my husband when he consistently displayed the following characteristics: Respect for my time, respect for my choices and respect for my relationship with Yahweh.”

What she loves about his mind: I love that he is able to say “I’m sorry.”

What she loves about his body: I love my husband’s hands because they are magical, and I love the way his eyes squint almost shut when he laughs really hard.

What she loves about his spirit: I love the way he holds me when I don’t want to be held (when I am angry).

Chelsea's advice to single women about marriage:

“Know and understand the definition of crazy. Essentially, the definition of crazy is doing the same thing, expecting different results. So, if you are tired of entering into dead-end relationships with men, only to end up feeling empty, used and lonely, link up with Elohim. Give Him ALL OF YOU. Commit yourself to His ways and take the leap of faith to make the necessary changes in your life, so that you may be perfectly aligned with Him. He will provide the man that you need. And always remember, as my 99-year-old grandmother would say, “What’s for you, you going to have and nobody else, ‘cause it’s for you, honey.”

Guinness World Records' Oldest Living Married Couple...

2009-02-18T21:37:00.002-06:00

After 84 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher are still going strong...
http://www.newbernsj.com/news/herbert_42128___article.html/zelmyra_children.html

James Speaks On How He Knew

2009-02-18T09:39:00.004-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: November 27 and December 1, 1973

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“Corlis and I met in 9th grade. She was 'the new girl' at the school who was from out of town and had moved to Baton Rouge, LA. We were in the same home room and she wanted nothing to do with me. My twin brother and I were class clowns and ran with the 'jocks'. My best friend, Anthony had crushes on Corlis and her friend, Terri. They were both skinny as pool cues. When my father found out that I liked 'that skinny girl', he said her legs looked like 'socks on a rooster.'

Corlis really had nothing to do with me for about a year. That may have been because I would go to the window of her classes and tell her I was going to marry her. I was stuck on her. I had an old girlfriend of mine arrange to have Corlis come to our neighborhood for a visit so I could meet up with them. We got to walk together and talk. Later that summer, one of our classmates had a pool party at her house and we met up there. While we were sitting around talking, Corlis came and sat on the carpet at my feet. I've never stopped loving her since that night.

We met in 1969 in 9th grade. I was 13 and she was 14-years-old. We started 'going together' in 10th grade in 1970. Corlis' father was sent to Vietnam (he was a career Army officer) and she left Baton Rouge and went to her hometown of Des Moines, Iowa. This was our 11th grade year. Corlis graduated early from high school and returned to Baton Rouge to attend Southern University while I completed my senior year of high school.

The summer following my high school graduation in 1973, I was determined not to let Corlis get away again so I rented her an apartment. She was 18 but I was only 17-years-old. We leased the apartment in her name and I worked a couple of jobs to take care of her. I turned 18- years-old during my freshman year of college. This was October, 1973.

We were married in November of 1973.

We've been married now for thirty-five years. There are tears in my eyes as I recall this for sharing with you. I love her so. She has always been able to bring into my life, my personality, my decision making, my undertaking what I was lacking. My love for her has made and continues to make me a better man. We were both mature for our ages, yet we both needed another to bring the strength and security needed to face life. We've been facing life...loving life...doing life together for just about all our lives.”

What he loves about her mind: I love that she's never let me push her around in life. She's been clear and honest about what who she is and what boundaries she's established. This makes me respect her - her tenderness and her firmness.

What he loves about her body: The softness of her heart toward me and others has softened my soul so that I've lost the need to protect myself from her.

What he loves about her spirit: I TRUST Corlis. Many women do not understand that so often men who love are just as afraid of being hurt as women are. For 35 years Corlis has not betrayed my trust. For that I am infinitely grateful. Some men consider themselves blessed for finding the woman they believe they can live with. I'm blessed because I've found the woman I can't live without.

James's advice to single men about marriage:

“The true joy in marriage is in giving to one whom you trusted to spend your life with. No matter what I give to her---even when it's in short supply (time, money, energy, etc.)---God always gives me more of it than I had before I gave to her.”

Ryan Speaks On How He Knew

2009-02-17T02:55:00.002-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: May 31, 1997

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“I grew up in Southern California (surfer boy) and needless to say, by my 20^th birthday, I had not developed the best reputation in my town. Ironically, I was voted, 'Most Likely to Stay Single' and 'Best Kisser' (I guess I got too much practice) just two years earlier in my senior year of high school.

I never showed much respect for the fairer sex, and it was evident that this behavior was making it difficult to keep a girlfriend (the longest relationship I had to this point was five months). Anyway, I was given a great opportunity to move away and play football at UT Martin in West Tennessee on a scholarship. Not wanting to carry my bad reputation with me to a new place, I decided to make a pact with God. I broke down and repented for my behavior and pleaded with God to take me from my state of misery and loneliness. I promised to use the opportunity he gave me to make a start fresh and to make sure that the reputation I created was one above reproach.

As part of the football team, it did not take long before opportunities were presented to go down the old road of womanizing and sexual misconduct. True to my promise to God, I would not kiss or carry on with anyone I did not believe was marriage potential. After a few months in my new environment, God’s grace was delivered.

My future bride, Kristi, was revealed to me during football practice. Kristi, who was the captain of the pom squad, was dancing her heart out right in front of me and the rest of the team. She was breathtaking! A sweet Southern Belle with big, beautiful eyes and eyelashes...and a fantastic figure. I couldn’t wait to talk to her and see if this was just a physical attraction...or possibly my match.

I finally ran into her a few days later and much to my surprise, several of her roommates were the very same girls that I turned down at the football parties. It was very clear to me that if I had not resisted this temptation, Kristi would have heard about it and never would have considered dating me. My reputation was still spotless and the courting began.

We dated for three months before I knew that she was the one. I was convinced that our faith in God and our plans for our family were aligned. She was my best friend and I had no interest in spending time with anyone but her.

I proposed three months later on our six-month anniversary, and we were married one year later. It will be 12 years in May (31^st), and it has not always been easy. Many times I have felt helpless and even other times hopeless. However, one thing that I believe has gotten me this far and I am convinced will keep me in the game until the end is a commitment to never except failure. My words to my wife when we first discussed the possibility of getting married were 'Divorce is not an option'. I remember saying things like 'You might hate my guts and I might hate yours, but we better find a way to get along or it is going to be a miserable life'. I REFUSE to quit on what I promised her and God the day we got married: Till Death Do We Part.”

What he loves about her mind: I love my wife’s sense of humor. It is corny like mine.

What he loves about her body: I love my wife’s eyes. They are incredible.

What he loves about her spirit: I love my wife’s pure heart. She truly lives in purity and holiness and this is great encouragement to me.

Ryan's advice to single men about marriage:

“When failing is not an option, it is amazing how you begin to work at fixing things. I truly love my wife with all of my heart and now I know what love really is. I tell my children (somehow we wound up with four) that love is an action, not an emotion. We love by selflessly putting someone else’s needs ahead of our own. I have learned that by doing things for my wife---such as doing the dishes or bathing the children---I am showing her that I love her. Telling her I love her is important, but not nearly as important as showing her. This was something that took me many years to figure out, but once I got it, it changed our relationship. It also changed my relationship with others.”

Noelle Speaks On How She Knew

2009-02-16T17:32:00.002-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: October 18, 2008

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“I knew I was going to marry Marcel before I met him. I read a blog about someone who never wanted to get married.

I, on the other hand, was quite anxious to get married. In fact, I did so when everyone recommended that I didn’t. Several years later, the marriage ended and after some more years of struggling with romantic relationships, I told God that I wasn’t going to date again until I understood in my soul that He was enough. I had spent a lifetime trying to convince myself of that fact, but continued to look for a romantic relationship...and ended up continuously frustrated. I decided to stop fighting and get quiet.

It would be hard to overstate how difficult this was. I felt a pain almost like a physical withdrawal. Long story short, I stuck with it and it took about a year and a half. During that time, I spoke with men from my family and co-workers and that was it. (I should add to this story that there was a lot of therapy, support groups, prayer, and accountability in this mix. I was not able to do this on my own.) At some point during that year, my mom asked about the possibility of me dating someone of our faith. My first husband had been a pastor in our faith and I think I told mom not to hold her breath or something equally rude. Out of some guilt, I agreed that when I was dating again, I would look at one of the singles' websites for people in our faith.

I’m still not sure when or exactly how it happened, but one morning I woke up and found myself at peace with the idea of being alone---even if that was for the rest of my life. I went out on a few dates and found myself thinking at times, 'I could be home cleaning my house.' Not because the guys weren’t nice, but I didn’t need it anymore.

I made another equally drastic decision. I decided I wasn’t going to date again until I found the man I would marry. My life was full and rich and I didn’t want to spend even a few hours on something that wasn’t a part of God’s plan for me. I had enough 'practice dating'. I decided that God would pick and until He notified me, I wasn’t interested.

A few months later, to fulfill my promise to my mother, I posted a profile on a website. I didn’t pay for a subscription and never checked the emails. But my conscience was clear. At one point I got an email with the name of my favorite band when I was a preteen. Of course, I had to check the email in case it was my adolescent crush who had come to sweep me off my feet.

It wasn’t Kevin, but it was Marcel.

He had listed his blog address and out of curiosity I checked it. (www.thecarioca.blogspot.com) I was quite impressed and after reading one of his posts (about a homeless man who had cut him off and his reaction to that), I was impressed by this man of passion who could also admit his mistakes. After reading a few more posts, I looked down at Izzy, my trusty canine sidekick and told her, 'This could be the guy.'

Marcel and I began to communicate by email a few times a week, and after a little time, we figured out that he lived five miles from my brother and aunt in Los Angeles. Marcel offered to pay for half the ticket the next time I visited my brother...and the rest as they say...is history.

We have been married now for a little over four months. I am consistently amazed by the difference in marriage from when I picked before and when I let God pick the man and the timing now. It was worth the wait and every moment of heartache. The joy is as much about knowing that God is my all as it is about this wonderful man I’ve pledged my life to. From this place I don’t operate from fear, wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. I am free--- body and soul---to love this man God gave me.”

What she loves about his mind: I like how goal-oriented he is and how he challenges me to grow. We have similar ways of looking at the world and are a fantastic team. He also challenges me to keep my goals in front of me and not to get discouraged. He believes in himself---and in me.

What she loves about his body: I love his cute “white boy” butt. I love that he’s tall and even in heels and pushing 6’, I fit underneath his chin. I love his green eyes and hate him for his model-long eyelashes.

What she loves about his spirit: He has an integrity that stuns me. He listens to God above all else. He is a leader in our home and is also infinitely tender with me.

Noelle's advice to single women about marriage:

“Let God pick your husband…period. Anything else will cause you untold heartache. Allowing God’s timing will open you up for all the things you dreamed of and some you never dared hope for.”

Michelle Speaks On How She Knew

2009-02-14T17:30:00.001-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: September 19, 1998

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“Ryan and I have been married over 10 years now. Our anniversary is September 19, 1998.

What first drew me to Ryan, was his charisma; he was always the center of attention and having a great time making people laugh. He didn't seem to care if I noticed him or not, but he gave me his attention when we talked (which was very attractive to me).

We started dating our junior year of high school, just a few weeks before his family moved out of state. We wrote letters and spent countless hours on the phone - he was, and is, a very good writer and he knew how to make me feel special even with the shortest letter.

I knew from the beginning that he was 'marriage material' because one, his family was solid and centered on Jesus. Two, even though he was young, he had a heart to fully work out his faith on his own and so I knew he would make decisions based on what he believed would be God's best for him....which, simply put, made me feel safe with him. And three, he was irresistible to me and I couldn't wait to see him again.

As our relationship grew more serious, I felt confident he was the one because he was driven to make it on his own and not rely on his family for support. He was, and is, my best friend. No one can make me laugh harder than Ryan. I knew that my future children would be safe with him, as well. He challenged my faith and helped it grow stronger and I saw that he could be the spiritual leader of my future family. We definitely didn't do everything right...we messed up and went too far sexually and yet, Ryan was quick to own up to his part in our sin and take full responsibility. Over the years, God has restored and blessed us. We are very grateful for that.”

What she loves about his mind: He is very smart but teachable. He reads more books than anyone I personally know - about one a week - because he is always learning and wanting to do things better. He never wants to grow complacent in his life, faith or ministry. That is VERY sexy.

What she loves about his body: The whole package: I love that he has dark hair and eyes and that he tans easily. His lips are super-soft and he is a great kisser :) He is tall...and just super sexy! It really isn't fair - I have the perfect man!

What she loves about his spirit: Ryan is BOLD for Jesus and that is THE biggest turn on. God has given him a huge heart for people who don't know Jesus and he is fiercely intent on making sure that, at our church, there are no hurdles (i.e., dress code, judgmental attitudes etc.) between them and Jesus.

Michelle's advice to single women about marriage:

“Take note of his family; you marry into it and it greatly affects your life. Ask yourself if he already possesses the qualities you want in a dad for your kids. And finally---and most importantly, make sure that Jesus is his Lord and Savior and that he has surrendered his own will to His.”

Ryan Speaks On How He Knew

2009-02-13T23:40:00.003-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: September 19, 1998

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“Michelle and I started dating our junior year of high school. I have to be honest... it was really her looks that drew me in at first. After dating for a year, I became sold on her as 'wife potential'. We had always talked about marriage, but dating her for that time had shown me her depth of character, spiritual maturity, and tenderness; the things I knew I wanted in a wife and mother of my children. (We now have three.)

We had a short breakup around that time that also accelerated my decision to marry her. It was during that time that I knew how much she meant to me and how I wanted to spend my life with her. So... I 'fought' for her. Pursued and wooed, you know?

Actually, I am not a big believer in the 'right person'. Frankly, we're all 'wrong' for each other, aren't we? It's only our dependence on Jesus that makes things work. With the cross before me, we have a chance at wholeness.

After more than 10 years of marriage, I am happier than ever...and growing up with the love of my life has given me a joy beyond measure.”

What he loves about her mind: She's a great student---she's intelligent...she has a high emotional intelligence with a whole lot of empathy for the underdogs of the world.

What he loves about her body: I love her teeth - they're perfect! I love lots more but it's not appropriate for the global Internet parade .

What he loves about her spirit: Her laugh is her spirit! She is so full of joy and has a zest for life. She really loves our kids...and that means a lot to me.

Ryan's advice to single men about marriage:

“Conversation is key. She needs to know that we're good - every day! And, I have also learned that she'd rather have relational security than financial security. ”

Crystal Speaks On How She Knew

2009-02-09T23:36:00.006-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: January 11, 2008

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“I never desired to marry. Never. Until one day in my early 30s...a day that ALL I wanted to do was sleep in...you know, a Saturday morning with a warm summer breeze coming through my window. And then, my phone rings at 7:30am-ish...and it's Momma. She was picking up the argument/conversation we had the night before: "WHEN are YOU getting married?"

I could never understand the obsession. I have three siblings; one sister and two brothers who have NEVER dealt with this kind of pressure. My dad started hinting and 'accidentally introduced' me to a bunch of basic...umm, hmmm...IDIOTS when I was in my early 20s.

At least he waited until I was 'legal' . My mom started with me at five. I kept thinking, 'Am I adopted?' ...'Do I eat too much here?'...'Am I a burden?' Anyway, the older I got, the more I enjoyed EVERYTHING about being single and being ON MY OWN. While growing up, I was in a strict household, but I dated here and there. Nothing really deep. Just passing the time.

Eventually, I got tired. Tired of 'being with a man' to prove anything to anybody. So, I decided, 'I am going with my heart': Just me...and Jesus; the best couple in the universe as far as I was concerned. More and more, all I wanted was to please Him and use ALL of my talents to spread the Word about His love.

I was having a ball. Little did I know that God was going to throw a wrench...hmmm, let's say a little twist, into the journey.

I joined a church that I am still a faithful member of when I was in my early 30s. During that time, I was in and out of work...working on a Master's degree...trying to buy a home...finding myself...and all of those things were over a period of 10 years. Your 30s seem like when all that stuff happens. Anyway, when I first joined my church, I had 'After Sunday Service Dinners'... A LOT. Everyone and anyone could come. I wanted to start building relationships with my new church family. During that first year or so, Derrick (my now husband) was visiting with tons of others as well.

Did I remember? Nope! Did I care? Nope! My focus was WAY over somewhere else.

So, back to my mom. During this time of free Sunday dinners for the saints and ain'ts, my mom called that Saturday morning to ask me something she never asked, nor have I ever thought of before:'Do you even have a DESIRE to marry?'

I was practically begging my mom to GET OFF THE PHONE AND LET ME SLEEP!

But it stuck with me. I didn't realize that I had never desired it. Well, with her being the 'First Lady' of my former church, she told me she was glad to know and now she was going to pray for me...RIGHT THEN AND THERE! I was infuriated. WHY would I want you to pray for something I don't want?!? As usual, she ignored me...as she continued praying.

A couple of days later, I was driving to work and listening to my usual Christian station and talking to my best friend, Jesus. (I know...corny isn't it?) All of a sudden, I felt an indescribable blanket of peace, warmth, comfort...I cannot give you the words for it. All I know is that it was multiple feelings that I have NEVER had before and could not figure out what it was. When the 'presence' lifted, I still felt the remains of what it did to my heart. I asked God, 'That was so amazing. What was that?' He clearly said, 'The desire to marry.'

I SCREAMED, 'NOOOOOOOOO!' and rebuked it as I made it clear to God that I absolutely do NOT want to marry. I just wanted to be with Him. 'Give marriage to all of my girlfriends who dream of it,' I said. 'Let me just work for you.'

So...several months after this, it was Christmas season. My sister and I ran into Derrick after church. He was always friendly and kind and he asked what our plans were for Christmas. When he discovered that our home town was his, he was beside himself with excitement. He asked if we could all hook-up while we were there and hang out. I am ALWAYS open to a nice brother who would hook a sistah up! So, I agreed.

The first day, he and I and my sister hung out. The next day, she REFUSED to go...she didn't care to go. I REFUSED to sit up in the house AGAIN with mom and dad while watching the SAME Christmas shows.

So, while we were hanging out, I was having a wonderful time just being with a potential good friend. During our final moments, as we were walking down the aisle of Walgreens, that SAME presence hit me again, clearly stating that Derrick was it. It FREAKED me out! So immediately, I started acting silly and ridiculous to turn him off. I was hoping that IF he heard the same voice that he would NOT respond...and IF he did NOT hear the voice, he would NEVER respond.

However, he wasn't the LEAST phased about my behavior. This FREAKED me out even MORE! I had to get away from him! He was TOO nice...TOO kind...TOO perfect...for me.

When he dropped me at my parents' home, he told me to hold on to his number and when I got back in town to call him so that we could hang out again because he enjoyed it. I was polite and agreed.

When I got home, I let his phone ring about three times and I hung up. I just couldn't do it. But the presence would NOT LEAVE! Finally, I spoke to the presence (the Holy Spirit)and plainly said, 'Look...obviously, it is in God's will for me to hook up with dude. If I HAVE to, I have just one request: Please give me about 14 or 16 more years to find myself...to do my thing...to live as a content single woman growing to be whole. I am having TOO much fun, and I have some issues that I don't want to share with anyone else. I just want to be with you, Almighty. I will do Your will regardless, but PLEASE give me some time for me.'

He clearly said 'I will honor your request.' I took a big sigh of relief and TOTALLY forgot about the conversation. I basically did not make contact with Derrick again even after he volunteered to help me move from the very same apartment where I had Sunday dinners that he would come to. Anyway, I put all that out of my mind.

And about a year or two later, Derrick got married...to someone else.

When I found out he was getting married, I felt this weirdness in my heart. I shook it off and put the date on my calendar to go to his wedding. I kid you not, I had anything and everything to happen that day and was still in my lounging clothes trying to hurry up when I looked at the clock and saw that it was 30 minutes past the time of his wedding.

I felt so bad...because he was such a nice brother and I WANTED to be there out of support. To this day, I am really trippin' that I did not make it.

(Okay, this is getting too long...let me cut some stuff!)

13 years later: I am coming out of church on my work day. I was now working at the church. Derrick was there early on. It was weird because he was alone. He even joined us singles the Sunday prior...weird. Where was his wife?!? Was this ANOTHER marriage gone bad at church? I was hoping not. Anyway, while leaving church/work, I walked up to my girlfriend/co-worker to finish our conversation when I saw her and Derrick chatting. He was talking about his recent surgery and why he had not been at church. I was waiting for him to finish so I could talk to her. She left quickly to see about her sons at home. He continued telling ME about his surgery. When he finished, I started fussing about how I could NOT get a single brother to help me out at the new home I had bought. He, as usual, offered cheerfully to help me do whatever needed. I joyfully agreed, THEN repented and THEN apologized for not asking his wife out of respect.

He said, 'What wife? She left me almost a year ago.'

Shocked and hurt for him, I apologized and said, 'Never mind' and that I would be praying that they get back together. He was NOT in agreement.

He came to my home to fix what I needed. I was ready for him to leave. I had work to do and he was in the way. Don't get me wrong, he was a perfect gentlemen 'brother'. I just wanted him to do what I asked and GO AWAY!

He invited me to lunch when he finished. I'm a sucker for free food, and so I agreed and made it clear that I had a busy day ahead and could only go for a short time. We went to Panera Bread and talked for HOURS! I spent a good bit of that time quoting scriptures and trying to convince him to work things out with his ex. No matter what I said, it didn't work. What's funny is that although we were having a great time talking like we did years ago (13 years ago), he was not showing any interest in me AND no desire to work things out with his ex.

As he drove me home, I made one last attempt to help 'mend their marriage', when he said something I will never forget in reference to the subject of his former relationship:'Crystal, there is something you gotta understand about me. Maybe when you hear this, you will understand why I am not going to try again to work things out with her. When I got saved years ago, I made it clear to God that I will NOT let any man, woman, boy or girl ...not even myself come between me and my relationship with the Lord.'

Instantly, it felt like my head was spinning...like he was talking in slow motion. I felt the 'presence' again...really heavy...to the point where I felt like I was going to be sick...the kind of sick I have NEVER sensed or felt before. I cannot describe it. All I know is that all of a sudden, he looked like the most beautiful man in the world...AND I wanted to throw up!

(Wow...this is getting even longer...I gotta cut this some more!)

A year later...we got married.

Anyway, I used to hear people say, 'You just know' when I would ask them how they knew their mate was the one they were supposed to be with. I believed them...and now, from personal experience, I KNOW.”

What she loves about his mind: He is solid and focused...except when I game is on (grrrr).

What she loves about his body: He has a small frame, but he's actually very strong (which is scary in a way because I used to date big and tall men).

What she loves about his spirit: He is peaceful and steady. He's very content and absolutely LOVES the Word! Derrick is also one of the sweetest men I know. He DEMANDS that I be the REAL me. Every other brother I dated, grew quite annoyed with the REAL me...they wanted to mold me into whatever they assumed I was. Derrick considers that mindset a fool. LOL. Wow...it is so cool being with dude!

Crystal's advice to single women about marriage:

“CHILL OUT! HAVE FUN! LIVE A CLEAN LIFE! Enjoy men as friends and silly companions. IF marriage is going to happen for you, be content...be focused...be centered on loving God and being purposeful whether Mr. Right shows up or not. MARRIAGE IS WORK, but it's a good work...when you are both ready. ”

Getahn Speaks On How He Knew

2009-02-09T15:42:00.003-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: August 9, 2008

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“For me, it was reality setting in that this was my best female friend and that friendship can often weather the storms relationships face. Ebele has always been someone I feel free talking with about anything. That’s been the case since the days we used to sit on the benches in high school in Monrovia, Liberia, and hold intimate conversations about faith and life more than 20 years ago.

In many ways, I’ve always been a covering for her. In high school, I tutored her in Shakespeare’s 'Julius Caesar' and provided her support in many other ways over the years. So, it was the coming together of the fact that our souls connected many years ago and God showing me that I was her covering. The connection we made years ago was so powerful that although I dated other women, my heart said to wait to see her again until she came to the States seven years ago. .”

What he loves about her mind: She’s a good listener and doesn’t shy away from giving her honest opinion.

What he loves about her body: I love Ebele’s smile, although I joke her that living in Philly for seven years toughened her up to the point that she doesn’t smile enough. I love her body as it has the right proportions.

What he loves about her spirit: I like her sentimental side as in being soft spoken and caring (I get turned off some girls who sound masculine in how they talk or address you.)

Getahn's advice to single men about marriage:

“If you find a good one, hold on to her. It’s been a blessing to share memories with Ebele from years ago. But it’s good to go out, date and learn about women. That would help you navigate the differences between men and women and to know what women want once you settle down. Marriage is a lot of work. Go in with an open mind and be prepared to having to change your approach on some things. ”

Carmen Speaks On How She Knew

2009-02-08T22:28:00.002-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: October 7, 2001

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“1990 - What’s funny is that I don’t remember meeting my husband. It’s funny because my husband is strikingly gorgeous and many of the women I know remember meeting him. I just remember knowing him.

We met at a Christian college in Huntsville, AL where many people go expecting to find their mate. Not me! I didn’t want to live in the States. I just wanted to go to school, get my degree, and then go back home to work.

My future husband and I had an immediate connection; a chemistry that others looking at us could see. This connection was strictly platonic, however, because we both had significant others. Yeah, we were attracted to each other, but neither of us crossed the line because we both took our commitments seriously. Watching this man stay faithful to his girlfriend only made him more attractive and would be the foundation for my faith in his commitment to me.

We were inseparable. We spent many hours laughing, talking and even singing together (we stood next to each other in the school choir). I felt like I could be myself with him. I wasn’t afraid to show him my frailties because he made me feel safe. I remember thinking, 'I want to marry a man like this.' I had never met a man like this before. He was not just trying to 'act' like a Christian, but really trying to BE a Christian. He was a man who would open car doors and try and run ahead of you to open doors to buildings. Now mind you, this man was barely 20-years-old when we became friends, but he showed such godly maturity. God heard my mind speak, and it was during this time that God began to tell me that he was my husband.

Then he left. He left our college to go and start his music career. I missed him like crazy. My friend was gone and there was no one to fill his place, even though my 'boyfriend' arrived soon after.

My friend and I still stayed in contact with each other. I went to his graduation (1994) , he went to mine (1996) and at each occasion people would say, 'When are you and Duawne getting together?’ I would smile and try not to respond, while thinking in my head, 'When God says so.'

Then there was the time when I came to visit him in Nashville and we went out to eat. We were talking and out of the blue, he said, 'Carmen, when are we going to cut the crap?' Well, I nearly choked on my dessert. 'What do you mean?; I said trying to be calm, while my heart was racing. Somehow he got out of answering the question. We both changed the subject and acted like nothing had happened.

I don’t know where the time went, but it was 10 years between the time we met and the time we got married. I take that back I do know where it went. It went to stepping out of God’s will on both of our parts. Making mistakes and learning life’s lessons. During these years I read a lot (even some of the books that Shellie has listed). I wanted to improve myself and get ready for my husband.

1997 – After growing in God and trying to better myself and just be happy with me, I wrote a poem about my husband and me finally being together forever. I shared this poem with no one.

2000 - I decided that I was tired of messing up God’s plan for my life and since this was a new millennium, I decided to reconsecrate my life to the Lord. I went to the beach and sang 'I Surrender All' and cried. I was tired…tired of trying to do things my own way. By October, I didn’t see any major things happening with my love life. I decided I would go on a 10-day fast. This fast was to give me strength. Strength to tell the guy I was dating, 'Goodbye' because nothing was happening AND 'Goodbye' to Duawne. At the end of the fast, I was intending to tell Duawne, 'Even though we haven’t dated, we aren’t going to. Goodbye.' I had finally given up on the idea of us ever being together. God knew that I was serious and that I had FINALLY surrendered ALL.

God said, 'Not so!'

During my fast, Duawne called me. What?!? I had been in Bermuda for four years and we had spoken infrequently, but that night Duawne asked me all sorts of personal questions about life. How many kids I wanted...where I would live if I didn’t live in Bermuda...if I knew who my husband was...if I thought he was a godly man. What?!? Where was all of this coming from? At the time I didn’t realize I was being 'interviewed', but I woke up the next morning singing Fred Hammond’s 'Thank you, Lord' in my spirit.

Two days later, he called me back and asked me to spend his birthday and Christmas with him. That was the beginning of a rapid and wildly exciting time in my life. We spent seven months dating, three months engaged and our day of destiny is celebrated every year on October 7^th. We got married in 2001.”

What she loves about his mind: My husband is a creative genius. He’s a great writer. He writes and sings songs given by God to bless this world.

What she loves about his body: EVERYTHING!!!. OK...OK seriously. My husband is gorgeous. He is 6'4”, with dark chocolate skin...sexy and fine. I love his eyes; they are dark and deep. I love his hands; they are gentle yet firm. I really love his lips, too.

What she loves about his spirit: My husband is a God chaser. He is always seeking God’s will for his life and direction from the Holy Spirit.

Carmen's advice to single women about marriage:

“Prepare yourself to be a woman of God. He has to be your first mate. Wait on the Lord. It was completely out of character for me not to tell Duawne how I felt about him. I have messed up many relationships telling people how I felt. God knew that if I had told Duawne I knew he was my husband in 1997 he was run, very fast and very far. Tell God how you feel about your husband---your future mate. He’ll honor you if you are honoring Him, and if it is the right one. Some more advice is that you make sure he is your friend. There we will be times when you get right on each other’s last nerve. But when he’s your friend you always make up. And with benefits, now.”

Brian Speaks On How He Knew

2009-02-08T21:57:00.003-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: February 15, 2003

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

"I met my wife LaQuinda (aka Quinn) in Memphis on Beale St. I was in town for a music conference and was just there for a few hours with some other musician friends, and I saw her outside the theater housing the showcase that we were attending. The first thing that I remember is that when I saw her, she made made my heart skip a beat (I know that's corny, but I can't describe it any other way). It was one of those situations where I knew that if I didn't introduce myself and ask if we could exchange numbers, I would be kicking myself for who knows how long. When I asked she smiled and said 'No', but agreed to exchange email addresses instead. I thought to myself, 'She's cautious, smart...OK it's better than a 'Get outta my face', right?

I found out through email/instant messaging that she was a junior at Christian Brothers University there in Memphis and that she was 22 (eight years and a few months younger than I was). When it came to the age difference, she didn't care and I really didn't care. It was also interesting that she was the only girl in a family of six (yeah five brothers!!!). But, as soon as I thought we were heading towards being friends as opposed to acquaintances, I didn't hear from her...for six months.

As frustrating as it was, I had recently learned (the hard way) that you have to let things happen sometimes as opposed to making things happen and that you also must learn the difference between the two.

While I was at work that September---well, not working; more like fooling around on Black Planet----I saw the little icon showing that I had a 'friend' online. I sat there for a second because I didn't know whether to 'speak' or just ignore it since it had been so long since we had talked. I mean six months is a long time for things to happen....or not happen.

Once again I felt that urge so I sent a brief 'Hello' message and awaited a response. After an hour or so, she responded with the phone number that I had been denied earlier. We talked until almost 5am the next morning and then every night...for the next several months.

I went to Memphis to visit for the weekend and then we drove back to Nashville (really ridiculous if you know how raggedy my car at the time was). We talked the whole way to Nashville. Then, on the way back to Memphis (around three hours), we didn't say one word to each other. That was when I knew she was the one...there is a level of comfort I think has to be reached in order to take a ride like that and no one says 'What's wrong?' or 'Why so quiet?'

I realized I never wanted to be apart from her again. I proposed before I came home, she said 'Yes' in less than three seconds. That was December 2002, and we were married February 15^th, 2003.”

What he loves about her mind: I love her resolve and her determination..she's literally fearless. She was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis about two years ago and the medication kept causing an infection in her breasts. I've watched her go through seven surgeries over an 11-month span. They are countless and very painful procedures, but I don't remember hearing her complain once.

What he loves about her body: I love the way her eyes squint when she smiles... the sway of her hips when she walks.

What he loves about her spirit: Her vision is contagious. She's always noticing the beauty in something first. She looks at obstacles as an opportunity for God to do something amazing. I was laid off from my job of almost three years two weeks before our wedding day and she didn't hesitate to say, 'Don't even think about putting it (the wedding) off because of something that small!” What's not to love?

Brian's advice to single men about marriage:

“My advice would be to communicate, communicate, communicate! Since we were in a long distance relationship, all we had was conversation and I'm very certain that has gotten us through some of the rougher times...the fact that we are able to communicate on so many levels. Also, get into the habit of praying together. Marriage is ordained by God whereby the two of you become ONE. You would be amazed at what the Lord will reveal to you during that prayer time.”

Rachel Speaks On How She Knew

2009-02-08T10:21:00.002-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: March 21, 1992

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“I met my husband at church. He was the single 'Singles and Youth' pastor. I’d just moved to my town taking on my first corporate job after graduating from Ohio State. It was the '80s and I was a career-minded girl. But I wanted to get married, too. I’d done the dating and partying thing in college and was eager to find a good church and pursue a relationship with Jesus.

Which I think is key. Singles have such an opportunity to be devoted to Jesus...to live as a modern-day monastic, being wholly devoted to the Lord in a way married people cannot. But, we need each other: the singles to remind the marrieds of wholehearted devotion, and the marrieds to draw the singles into family and community.

My job required a lot of travel. I’d be gone for weeks at a time, so my church attendance was sporadic. It was several months before I met my husband face-to-face. We soon found we had a lot in common---the least of all our birthdays being three days apart. I’m the older woman in our relationship. (smile)

Our first date was lunch after church. I liked him a lot but wasn’t wowed. I went home unsure of my feelings. I took a few minutes to pray and the Lord spoke to me. 'He’s the one.'

'Oh, wow, God, please, not me.' I do not want to be one of those kooky ladies who thinks she’s going to marry the single pastor. I set the notion aside and prayed over it. Only time would tell. Meanwhile, the Lord spoke to my husband. 'Be her friend.' All romantic feelings for me vanished.

So for three years, we were best friends. The Lord kept telling me and confirming in small ways that we’d be married. My husband stood on the rock that we’d only be friends. I can’t tell you how hard those years were. I’d fallen in love with him...wanted to be with him, and he didn’t want to be with me - romantically. We tried not being friends and it only lasted for a day or two. I lent him my car to take another woman on a date. YES, I DID. The Lord really comforted me that night. 'Don’t worry. He’s yours.'

Why would God do this?

One, it shook both of our foundations and preconceived ideas of relationships. I had to lean completely on Him and my close friends. My husband had to lean on the Lord to know if he should be friends with me, and how to love me without leading me on. The entire time we were honest with each other. It was hard to come from polar opposite views. I trusted his ability to hear God. He trusted mine. It was confusing. But we had a lot of fun and joy being together.

Two, we built a really solid relationship. When we finally got married, there were no surprises...no let downs...no pausing in ministry. We kept on running the race.

Let me be clear: I do not recommend the 'God told me the pastor was my husband' method, or that any man is your spouse without the topic of marriage being common between you. At the very least, be in a healthy, working relationship. Christians tend to over-spiritualize marriage. DON'T. Pray and listen. But don’t be afraid of letting God speak quietly through your own heart and desires.

After three years, I said, 'Lord, this is it. I want out of this.' I’d just turned 30, made a change in my career and so I was off the road and I wanted to find the right man.

God continued to speak and confirm that my husband was the one. I had so many people praying for me. One key to my relationship with my husband was we were truly in a relationship. I saw him daily. We spent weekends together. We ministered together. Add romance and we would’ve been a solid 'couple-couple'.

Here’s the Great God Conclusion: In a single day, He literally dropped into my husband all the feelings he needed to marry me. The feelings he had in the beginning. It was a 'light switch'change. We had to have a whole new set of rules for when we hung out together.

How did I know he was the one? God told me. But that was only the beginning. I knew he was the one because he was my best friend. Still is. My husband was the one I wanted to see at the end of the day...the phone call I looked forward to at work...the one I wanted to share my heart with. I felt safe and secure in his company. I trusted him. I saw God in him. He was a man of prayer and integrity. He pursued Jesus with all his heart and challenged me to do the same.

I loved his family. He loved mine. We had similar values and likes. Our upbringing was similar and our college experiences were the same.

I loved him. He loved me.”

What she loves about his mind: I love how smart he is---truly. The man is a walking dictionary. I love that he’s my best friend and he loves me.

What she loves about his body: I love his athletic background and his broad shoulders and chest.

What she loves about his spirit: He loves Jesus. He’s kind and gentle...loyal and steadfast.

Rachel's advice to single women about marriage:

“Look for a mate who laughs when you laugh. Look for one who watches your favorite sitcom instead of his movie.

If you feel God is speaking to you about your husband, get prayer and counsel from those you trust. Examine your own heart concerning this person. What kind of relationship do you have? Are you even in a relationship?

A single woman once told me a certain man was her husband. God told her he was. The catch? He’d married another woman two weeks earlier. 'Sister,' I said, '...that man is not your husband. You have not heard God.'

Another believed a man was her husband, but she didn’t even know him personally. Then there’s the married woman who believed God told her another man was her husband.

God will not tell you someone is your husband if you are already married, if he is married or if you don’t even know him. God is a God who loves relationships and He does so much within those confines.

Trust God to show you your husband by speaking to your heart in natural and common 'everyday' ways. Look at practical things and desires. Do you want to work in the foreign mission field but 'the one' feels called to inner city America? Maybe you two don’t have the same destinies.

Be spiritual, practical as well as romantic about the one you choose. Be friends as well as lovers. Be bold and courageous. Confront the hard issues. Work them through and then be honest with the outcome.”

Brian Speaks On How He Knew

2009-02-08T09:42:00.001-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: May 31, 2003

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“My wife, Rachel and I met in the lobby of our church. I immediately noticed how pretty she was and how nice her figure was. We ended up introducing ourselves that day in the lobby and that was about it for awhile. I always noticed her when she was around and spoke casually with her but that was it; neither of us was at the point where we were trying to pursue a relationship with anyone...much less each other.

Eventually, we started going out with mutual friends, so we got to see each other outside of the casual meetings at church. This is when I got to see more of who she was and really started admiring the person she was. She was very sincere and consistent with her relationship with God, and it challenged me to come up in my relationship with Him. She had a passion for God, life and people, which I loved. Now, she wasn’t what I had always pictured my wife to be like so I never really looked at her in that way--- for myself that is---but me and my boys would always say, 'Man, she is going to make someone a great wife one day.'

I really admired the person Rachel was, and knowing her encouraged me to think that there were more women like her out there in the world. What I didn’t know was that that admiration would turn into a great friendship...and then a love like I never experienced before.

Ultimately, it was two simple words that God spoke to my spirit one day as I hugged her in that same lobby at church: 'SHE FITS'. Those were the two simple words that ministered peace and assurance to me that she was the one. God never told me , 'This is your wife', nor did I see her in a dream; but what He did show me when He spoke those two words was the good fruit of our relationship and how what she had in her was not only what I wanted but what I needed. I didn’t know everything, but I knew that I wanted to love...provide for...cover and present this woman in the best way possible. I am of the belief that yes, a woman was made as a helpmate for man, but that man has a responsibility to present woman as best he can, especially when it's his wife. Ephesians 5:24-30 says, 'Husbands, love your wives just as Christ has loved the Church and gave Himself up for her…to present her… without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.'

That scripture spoke to me that Christ first humbled (gave of) Himself for the Church; first by leaving the thrown to become man and then by being crucified so that we might be saved. Christ set the tone for the relationship with His humility, which is what I, as man or husband, am supposed to do...which in turns makes it all the more possible for my wife to be obedient to what God has called her to do as a wife. It's hard for most to see the power and strength in humility because of the way the world calls for us to act, but when one is surrendered to the right thing, which is God and His divine order, you have an endless resource at your disposal that most never tap into because of the misconception.

If we are to love our wives as Christ loved the Church, then we are to first humble ourselves to God and His will and then to the cause of presenting our wives as best we can. That kind of presenting for me involves being a proper covering, being a provider, and 'dwelling with my wife according to understanding' (1 Peter 3:7). Within each of these, there are specifics that are the same for each of us as husbands, and then there are some that 'break down' into items that are unique to each one's own family. For instance, how you might go about dwelling with your wife according to understanding. However, we as men must never forget that the initial work that Christ has done and is continuing to do (like interceding) for the Church is the same that we called to do in loving our wives.”

What he loves about her mind: She is detail-oriented, which balances me out.

What he loves about her body: She is athletic, but soft. I also love her eyes, skin tone...and her behind.

What he loves about her spirit: She is strong and surrendered. So much of who she is reflects Christ to me.

Brian's advice to single men about marriage:

“My advice to single men about marriage would be to not overlook the importance of your singleness and how it prepares you for being a husband. If you're to be a proper covering you must first know how to cover yourself, meaning keeping yourself virtuous. It’s not easy but it is possible; both my wife and I were virgins when we got married, by the grace of God. I know this seems harder for men because of the pressure from the world and 'the pass' that the Church, at times, gives us to go out and explore. It's definitely a trick of the enemy. Trust me, if you’re able to abstain from the most natural of urges for the sake of honoring God with your body, every bit of strength that is gained in that time is meant for you to use in life and your marriage...which you will definitely need.

The deception is that you're weak if you don’t venture out, but the truth is that God uses this time to build you up as a man so that you are strong enough to not only fight the outside forces that might come against you and your family, but also the natural forces of your own flesh that the enemy will use to gain access to your life and family.

Now, I didn’t do certain physical things before I got married, but my thought life and other deeds still needed to be forgiven and put under the blood. So, if you have already given of yourself or you are entertaining some things you shouldn’t---whether it be in mind or deed, God can and will restore you so that you can continue stand in this area. The opportunity is still there for you, so don’t give up. Most men miss out on the strength and perspective that is gained in keeping himself for his wife...don’t you be the one to miss out on it.”

Stephanie Speaks On How She Knew

2009-02-05T17:53:00.004-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: May 22, 1999

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“Great question! I had just ended a relationship of three (plus) years that I should have ended long before and had no desire to become involved in another relationship. I worked for the United States Postal Service and this is where I met my husband.

I totally brushed him off the first couple of times he would try to speak to me because I was not looking to get into another relationship so soon after ending the previous one…I did not want to be bothered. But, he was very persistent. I got excited when he told me he was a Mechanical Engineering major at Tennessee State University. I immediately thought, 'Hmm, at least he has some intelligence.' So I decided to give him a chance.

After having a few small chats with him, we started going to some breaks together. Then it got to a point that we would spend every break together, laughing and talking. What was so interesting and different about our developing relationship was that it was very unconventional. We did not do the 'dating thing'... going out to dinner, going to the movies, etc. Not that any thing’s wrong with that---we just chose to handle our relationship differently. I really appreciated this approach in our relationship because it was unique to both of us. I know we became closer because of it.

Now, I will say, I thought he was a bit strange when he would follow me home from work to make sure I made it home safely. (Huh? Who does that?) No one I had ever been involved with before. We also chose not to engage in a physical relationship. (Again, who does that?!?) No one I had ever been involved with before. We wanted to 'know' each other on our wedding night. Now that’s a good story!

I gained a greater love and respect for him...for his kindness, caring spirit and thoughtfulness. This is when I knew that he was the one! We will be celebrating our 10th anniversary on May 22, 2009. 10 years…wow!”

What she loves about his mind: I love that he's a good leader...that he is ambitious and creative.

What she loves about his body: I love his muscular build (well when he used to have it…just kidding!) and smile; he has pretty teeth.

What she loves about his spirit: Has a sweet and loving spirit and will do anything for me. He's very entertaining too!

Stephanie's advice to single women about marriage:

“Truly grasp what it means to love (I Cor.13:4-8-AMP). Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, it is very difficult to love others. No matter what the situation or problem be willing to forgive and forget. It is the best medicine. God knows what He is talking about!”

Casey Speaks On How She Knew

2009-02-04T15:05:00.003-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: August 25, 2007

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“Chris and I had actually been attending the same church for years. I would see him at church often, and sometimes we would speak in passing...but that was it. I never really gave him a second look because I thought he was married, and he was...for a while.

Our mutual friend, Kevin was instrumental in getting Chris and me together. He has been a great friend to both of us. Our first few conversations on the phone were through Kevin. In early April of 2006, things really began to change in my life.

It was my first Sunday back in town after attending a funeral out of town. It was after church and I was just about to leave when I saw Chris. Being the gentleman that he is, he asked if he could call me. I said 'yes', of course. We knew that we would at the very least be good friends, but neither of us realized what God was about to do and how fast He would do it. So he called me, and I was, of course, happy to hear from him. Our conversations were---and still are real, open and honest. We talked about everything, including our past relationships. It was as if our life experiences were parallel. We both overcame a hurtful relationship that could have made us bitter, but we kept our faith and hope in God to bless us with our mates in His timing. We like to look at those experiences as pain for a purpose. We talked over the phone for a little under a month, had our first date May 21, 2006 and we have been together ever since.

Our openness to friendship quickly blossomed into a wonderful God-centered relationship. I knew very early on that we would be more than 'just friends' one day very soon. He was and is a true man of God. What is on the inside of him, his love for Christ and his character, is what captured my heart. We truly recognized and acknowledged that God always comes first and our foundation began with Him. It was and still is our desire as we walk into our destiny together to honor God in ALL that we do...so much that we waited until we were married to come together as one flesh. Neither one of us were virgins, and have made plenty of mistakes in our past, but we made it clear from the beginning that we were going to honor God with our relationship. We set boundaries for ourselves, and in all honesty, it wasn’t always easy, but being that Chris had been married before, and I had experienced my own challenges in life, we could look back at past mistakes having learned from them, and not make them again. We truly want God to bless our union.

Chris asked me to marry him on March 21, 2007. We were just talking that evening and he asked me to marry him, and of course I said yes. He actually proposed to me without a ring and we began our planning process without it. I was fine, until people started getting wind of the engagement and wanted to see the ring. Being engaged and planning our wedding without a ring initially was not a problem for me. My problem was feeling as if I had to answer all of the questions that people had about the ring. Wanting to see it, wanting to know all the details, but I didn’t have my ring yet. Chris and I were solid, but the questioning and pressure from others made me throw out the window all the reasons we were not rushing to buy the ring. It was hard during what should have been an exciting time. I learned that at times, in order for things to be real (to others), people have to see something (a ring) to solidify the, 'Oh this is for real?' At times I found myself defending why I didn’t have a ring yet, instead of enjoying the months leading up to my wedding. It’s funny because even knowing why we were doing things the way we were---the comments and pressure of others were really getting to me. I had to pray that pressure and concern off of me, and trust me it was a process.

The actual ring proposal was August 4, 2007, two weeks after I returned from Germany. Which is a story within itself: July was a very busy month for me. It was definitely not all work and no play, but boy was it a whirlwind of a month. I celebrated my birthday, bridal shower the next day, then off to Germany the very next weekend for two weeks. I arrived back in the States on July 28^th, greeted by the scorching Nashville heat. You’re supposed to gain time when you come back from an overseas, but I tell you, I was beat down. Chris informed me that the following Saturday, our friend, Kevin would be taking us to dinner. It was my first day back, I got to see my honey and the kids, and I was happy, so dinner sounded great.

Day two, Sunday, my body clock was totally off. I got through the day, but I honestly don’t know how. Later during the week, my loving fiancé reminded me that on Saturday, August 4, 2007, we were going to dinner. UGH!!!… I just wanted to sleep. Not to mention the fact that I had to work half the day at the base, rush to Brentwood to change and meet Chris...then go to a wedding before we went to dinner. I was grumpy about going to dinner. I put up a minor, 'OK' and maybe a little major fuss because I was tired, and couldn’t believe Chris committed us to going to dinner knowing that I had to work EARLY the next morning. Chris offered to cancel, but I knew that would have been rude, so we had a nice, quiet ride to Ruth's Chris.

So we arrive and Kevin meets us inside. He was, in my opinion, acting pretty stressed out. I love Kevin, so I, of course, I wanted to make sure he was OK. He told me that something he had eaten was making him feel funny. Hmmm… I still wasn’t putting two-and-two together. I asked Chris if he knew what was going on, and he simply said, 'I don’t know, maybe we need to pray for him.' By then I was beyond concerned.

We were finally seated, and Kevin’s phone started ringing and he seemed even more bothered. I just flat out told him that he was working too hard and he needed to relax. A couple of seconds later, our waiter came and attempted to take our order. He was interrupted when two police officers walked in. I grew up in L.A., so when those police officers walked in, the looks on their face told me that they were not coming to eat. My total focus was on the police officers. One had a piece of paper in his hand and began talking to the host.

Then came the big hush…In a very serious voice he asked, 'Is there a Ms. Casey Tyler here?” My exact thoughts: 'OH SHOOT, MY COURT DATE ISN’T UNTIL OCTOBER!' (I got a speeding ticket a couple of months ago). So now, the restaurant was pretty much silent, and I’m looking like a deer caught in headlights. So he proceeded to ask the question again, and I was still simply staring at him. My exact thoughts: 'My name is Chaniqua Taylor!' Mind you, never once did I look at Kevin or Chris; my total focus was on the police officer. The officer and the host talked some more, then the host pointed at me… what the heck!?! Then the officer looked at me and asked, 'Are you Ms. Casey Tyler?' OH MY GOSH! I could barely muster up a 'yes'.

My exact thoughts: 'I’m going to jail...they are going to handcuff me in front of all of these people… but my court date isn’t until October… where the heck is that pink piece of paper?'

So he looked at me and said in a not-so-nice voice, 'Ma’am?' , and my answer with big eyes was 'Yes.' He again proceeded and told me that he was going to have to place me under arrest unless I promised to be a good wife.

OK, that is MY version. Chris’s version is that he read me my rights. Hey look, when you think you are about to go to jail, some things get filtered out. Once I heard the last part, 'Unless you promise to be a good wife', and Chris stood up, reached in is pocked and pulled out the ring, I was in tears! The entire restaurant was loud with cheers. He got me … he totally surprised me with the ring proposal, and my ring is absolutely beautiful! It was indeed worth the wait.

We were married August 25, 2007. ”

What she loves about his mind: I love the fact that Chris is a praying man who chews of the meat of God’s word daily and he trust God at His word. He is an awesome teacher and I enjoy our conversations whether they be trivial or deep.

What she loves about his body: I love to snuggle up next to him and lay my head on his chest. When he wraps his arms around me I feel so safe. He also has an awesome smile.

What she loves about his spirit: Chris has a unwavering love for Christ and for others. His character as a man of God, his passion to spread the gospel and lead others to Christ will be remember much more than the eight years that he played pro-football. He was an awesome athlete, but he is a far greater man of God.

Casey's advice to single women about marriage:

“As a single woman, let God be your first love. Trust Him in and His timing of you meeting your mate. Be about His business while you are waiting. Know who you are and learn to feel complete as a single woman. Guard your heart, your body, and your space. Make wise decisions about where and who you spend your time with. Deal with your baggage of past relationships, step back and ask God to help you see what went wrong. If you were wrong, repent and forgive self, if you were hurt, forgive. Stop jumping from one situation to the next to simply fill a void.

LEARN from past mistakes and hurts. Warning signs are usually there in the beginning; sometimes we just choose to ignore them. That is why it is so important to stay close to the Lord, and learn to hear His calming voice of instruction. Familiar is not always good… if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a dern duck not an eagle! As women of God, we have to stop filling in blanks for men who have not chosen us. A true man of God will value your worth and want to please God instead of himself. Don’t settle and realize that it doesn’t take a man years to figure out if you are his wife. ”

Karen Speaks On How She Knew

2009-02-04T01:01:00.003-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: September 6, 1998

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“After my first date with Quincy, I wrote in my journal, 'I am going to marry Quincy and our babies are going to look just like him.' That was August 1995.

Quincy pursued me like no another! He saw things in me that I couldn't even imagine. His attention was on who I would be. That was really strange to me... yet intriguing. I am seven years older than Quincy. (I broke my rule of not dating anyone more than 4 years my junior.) I would think to myself. What could he possible know?? However, he kept speaking to the real me. No one had ever done that before. That's how I knew he was my husband. ”

What she loves about his mind: Quincy is not a quitter he will create a solution. This makes me feel safe.

What she loves about his body: I love Quincy's root beer (our favorite drink) brown eyes! They are intense and dreamy.

What she loves about his spirit: Quincy is a person who came into this world knowing---what he could be... what he could do...what his life would look like as a husband and dad. He lives life for the most part without limitations. His spirit is truly free. This helps me to push pass my fears. I can do anything with Quincy believing in me.

Karen's advice to single women about marriage:

“Know what is really important when it comes to the kind of man you want to marry. I had a set of rules that were written in stone like, age, and religious preference. Maybe they should have been written in pencil. By putting those things in there proper place, the door was open for me to meet an extraordinary human being!

Secondly, I would say marry your best friend. Quincy and I dated for three years before we married and we knew each other for two years before that. He is the one person that I just love being around. We talk and laugh a lot. I send him text messages throughout the day---just because. We make sure our three little ones know how much we love each other. If I had to do it all over again, I would absolutely marry Quincy again!”

LaDre Speaks On How He Knew

2009-02-04T00:44:00.002-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: March 20, 1999

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“I initially met my wife at Tennessee State University. I saw her in the 'plaza' with her friends, and I approached her.

It was a good conversation, but not the norm. I could not approach her the way I had approached the other women at other events/parties. It was not that the lines wouldn't have worked...she was just different.

Nonetheless, I saw her at a party later that night, and we danced and danced . . . asked her for her number . . .and never called her. I knew what I was about during my college years, and for some reason, I did not want her to be mixed up with LaDre. So, I left TSU in 1991, and I didn't see her or hear from her for over five years.

Then one day, I was driving down Clarksville Highway, and I saw her at the Piggly Wiggly. I followed her to her home, and I paid her a visit the next week. As it turns out, she really did not like me, and despised the fact that I followed her home! However, as God would have it, her sister, Crystal was a member of Born Again Church, and she paid a visit with her on a Sunday that I was singing.

I saw her after service, and still...no love. Well, God spoke to me in 1996 concerning a wife, and it was her! So I was trying to do His job for three long years, but I just got tired because she got no confirmation from God. I just gave up, and I told God, 'I'm done!'

Two months later, Parthenia called and said that God had confirmed what He had spoken to me years ago, and she was ready to move forward ultimately to marriage. Glory! On March 20th, we will have been married for 10 years! Yeah, God is good!”

What he loves about her mind: Her commitment to Christ.

What he loves about her body: Her big beautiful eyes...they are so beautiful. And, her style. It is classic and elegant, yet urban.

What he loves about her spirit: She is so consistent, balanced and mature.

LaDre's advice to single men about marriage:

“Friendship is foundational. It is a must to create a good foundation of friendship with a prospective mate. Secondly, always be up front and direct with her. It is immature of you as a single man to lead a young lady on in a relationship. You set the standard, and let the standard be integrity and honesty. ”

David Speaks On How He Knew

2009-02-03T18:36:00.002-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: December 12, 2005

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“This was a question I had asked my father in relation to my mother. He told me that he saw her at a Christmas party and something took over him. It was a feeling that he could only describe as absolute certainty. So he went up to her and told her that she was his wife. She thought he was crazy. One year later, they were married...and then came me. I must admit I thought he was crazy, too. Until I met my wife.

We met through mutual friends who thought that we would 'get along'. I was doing a lot of casual dating and had no plans on slowing down. I took one look at her and I understood what my father meant. This woman was for me. We talked about lives, our goals, and our interests... we just clicked. I always thought 'love at first sight' was for psychos. This was bigger than me. This was ordained, and everything in my spirit told me so.

Oshena wasn't as convinced. She was a senior in college who was dating and had just gotten out of a five-year relationship. I didn't really push it, but we found ourselves wanting to be together much more than we wanted to be apart. We embraced each other's lives totally. Eight months later, at my grandmother's home in Philadelphia, I asked Oshena to marry me and I never looked back. It was the first and only time I had EVER brought a woman home to meet my family. Ironically, my grandparents married each other after only eight months.

We made a lot of mistakes. We moved in together. Looking back on it, if I had to do it all over again, I would never had shacked up with her because it clouded our relationship in the fog of sin. It is only by God's grace that we have a successful and blessed marriage. It took a lot of Holy Humbling to make me into the Spiritual Head of my house. It was the first time I had ever put anyone's needs ahead of my own.

My wife is the true meaning of helpmate. When I lost my job (several times), she was a constant supporter and my live-in reality check. I am a better person who is not only in a happy and growing marriage, but in a healthy and growing relationship with God.”

What he loves about her mind: Oshena's mind is a perfect compliment to my thinking. She gives me a different perspective that I would not have considered had I not consulted her.

What he loves about her body: There's nothing on Oshena's body that I don't love. She is perfect to me. Her eyes are my favorite. They are green with a touch of hazel in them. It's like looking at a sunset in the Everglades.

What he loves about her spirit: Oshena brings a spirit of tenderness and caring into our lives that is infectious. She is the most fun person I've ever known.

David's advice to single men about marriage:

“I would say to men who want to have a successful marriage is to pray hard, rub your wife's feet, slow dance with her daily and let her know she is valued and appreciated. Above all else, be her friend as much as her shelter and lover. ”

Michelle Speaks On How She Knew

2009-02-02T19:37:00.003-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: November 29, 2008

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“I met Ryan at Greenville College. It was a brief encounter; he was in a band and played a show with my friend's band. I videotaped the concert and Ryan asked me to tape his band, too. Unfortunately, the taped was corrupted and nothing was salvageable.

Fast forward about six months...I was taking a journalism class and the professor was looking for articles for the paper. She asked if anyone knew art majors because a couple of senior art shows were coming up. I raised my hand. Ryan was an art major. I ended up interviewing him on a Monday night, asking him about what his art show was about and all of that. He told me about how his photography was a metaphor of how faith is believing rather than knowing. I was intrigued. He wouldn't stop talking and I wanted to ask more questions, so it didn't bother me. I wanted to know more about him.

After the interview, we started hanging out more. We played Scrabble in the Student Union... watched a couple movies...went on walks, and skipped classes together. It was a good time, but neither of us were looking for a relationship. Right before I left for Thanksgiving break, he gave me a rose (from a vase of roses he received for his show).

We talked over AIM during the break.

'I'm fond of you,' I typed. I didn't want to say I liked him.
'I'm fond of you, too,' he typed back. Knowing I speak Spanish, he said, 'Yo como tu,' meaning, 'I [am] like you' or 'I eat your', depending on how it's read, which made me laugh.

After break, he picked me up from the airport and it was an awkward ride back to Greenville. We spent the night in the Art Center taking down his exhibit. The next night, he had a concert with his band. I went and we spent another sleepless night talking. On our third night of forsaken sleep, we were both tired. We were driving around town at 5 o'clock in the morning and he suddenly said, 'I love you and I don't believe you have to be together for x-amount of months or years to say that.'

I was stunned and I didn't know what to say.

'Would you marry me?' He posed this as a hypothetical question rather than a proposal.
In this moment of hysteria, I knew he was my husband. Not because he asked if I'd marry him, but because I couldn't imagine my life without him.

'...Four weeks felt like years
Since your full attention was all mine
The night was young and so were we
Talked about life, God, death, and your family
Did not want any promises,
Just my undivided honesty...'-Dismantle.Repair by Anberlin

We got engaged in February 2008 and married November 29, 2008.”

What she loves about his mind: He's curious and creative.

What she loves about his body: His smile; the one that tells me he's happy and that makes me happy.

What she loves about his spirit: His endless yearning to learn more and delve deeper into God.

Michelle's advice to single women about marriage:

“I read something a while back that sums up anything I could possibly advise:

'Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But to the Christian, God says, 'No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me. Until you give yourself totally and unreservedly to Me and to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone, discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with Me exclusively. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to bless you with the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.

Just keep watching Me. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. Just wait, that's all.

Do not be anxious, do not worry, do not fear. Do not look around at all the things others have received or that I have given them. Do not look at the things you want. Just keep looking off and away up at Me or you will miss what I have to show you.

And when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you will dream. You see, beloved, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready ( I am working even this moment to have you both ready at the same time)---until you both are satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me and thus Perfect Love.

Precious one, I want you to have the most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of Grace, Beauty, Perfection, and Love that I offer you."

Believe and be satisfied!'”

Connye Speaks On How She Knew

2009-02-02T16:15:00.002-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: November 29, 1997

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“I didn't KNOW that Kevin was my husband until about 15 seconds after we finished our 'I do's'.

I let out this rather untamed and totally unexpected squeal. It was like the pressure cooker was finally letting off...and I knew then it was a done deal. We are complete opposites in almost every way, but we understand (mostly)how it works. It's like a key and lock...or a window frame and glass. I knew that our spiritual paths were connected the first time he accompanied me on the piano. It was, and still is, like climbing onto a water-made vessel on a gorgeous blue, sky day and taking a ride in the breeze.

Marriage is like that at moments....but at some point the waters get rough, the winds start to whip you around and you lose your footing and stumble. Hang on and work to keep yourself where you are willing to shift. Flexibility will help keep things from breaking apart.”

What she loves about his mind: He has an extremely mathematical mind.

What she loves about his body: I love my husband's warm hands and his smile.

What she loves about his spirit: We don't behave or think nothing alike, but we share core values and ethics. Consequently, we have difficulty finding shared activities outside of the home that we can both enjoy and so simple things win: walks, theater excursions, community (church) service , youth performances and concerts on occasion. However, at the level of spirit, we are both giving souls--- sometimes to a fault, and share reverence for God, nature and music.

Connye's advice to single women about marriage:

“Going into marriage with the thoughts of 'getting out if it doesn't work', will almost assure you a prophecy fulfilled. Marriage doesn't work. YOU DO. Discovering a solid spiritual path that you can walk together is essential. Spiritual ideologies colliding can lead to conflicting values at the core of the relationship.”

Chris Speaks On How He Knew

2009-02-02T15:43:00.002-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: August 25, 2007

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“I knew Casey was my wife because we were friends, first. Instead of trying to kiss her in the mouth, I listened to what was coming out of her mouth...the stuff she would say blew me away. Before we got married I wanted to LEARN everything about her, and I wanted her to know everything about me so WE could walk together as one. ”

What he loves about her mind: She is someone who purposes to make every decision from a Christ-centered place...and we make them all together.

What he loves about her body: She has beautiful skin that lights up a room. Her hands, when she touches me, it encourages me to believe that we can do the impossible together.

What he loves about her spirit: It's caring and nurturing. Casey has the spirit of an encourager. When things look crazy, many times, it's her spirit that encourages me. She brings joy...laughter...kindness to every situation because of her very tender spirit.

Chris's advice to single men about marriage:

“LOVE, LEAD, HONOR, SERVE, LISTEN to your wife---everyday. Don't invest in all areas of your life while forgetting your marriage. It's like a bank...whatever you deposit, that's how much you get back. ”

David Speaks On How He Knew

2009-01-31T22:31:00.001-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: September 4, 2006

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“After not wanting to be monogamous after a terrible relationship in the past, I prayed for an absolute answer. I didn't want to be a player anymore, because it was getting boring--- for me it was too easy to meet women and because of my intellect it was too easy to get what I wanted. I was totally honest, simple and plain... and I gave up on all women for a certain point in time.

Then, by surprise, my wife approached me. We dated for awhile and two years later, I realized God gave me exactly what I asked forand needed in a woman. ASK AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN UNTO YOU. ”

What he loves about her mind: As I grew older, I had to learn exactly what I wanted in a mate...better yet what I needed because sometimes that differs. I love her smarts because she's a thinker, and she really avoids making major mistakes.

What he loves about her body: Her looks are more than enough to keep my attention---no matter who may enter the room.

What he loves about her spirit: She's a person who doesn't speak unless spoken to...as myself. We are both reserved and quiet-spirited...and Christian-minded .

David's advice to single men about marriage:

“To the single guys that may feel like they are ready for marriage know this: I feel that you must learn to become exactly what it is that you want from someone else before you place yourself in someone's life. If you like an honest person - become that. If you like a hard working person-become that. Your actual traits are what's important to a marriage longevity.”

Marcella Speaks On How She Knew

2009-01-31T21:48:00.003-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: July 5, 1998

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“When I knew Brian was the one...Brian moved to Nashville after attending college in Alabama and began attending my home church. We both enjoyed being a part of the hospital ministry and attending the singles intimacy classes. We also had mutual friends, so we spent lots of time together outside of church. During this time, I knew he was attracted to me and I was only interested in being his friend. Deep inside I knew that the next relationship I would be in would be my last. God had just delivered me from a disastrous relationship and I was in no rush to begin a new one.

I was impressed with Brian's commitment to God and he was easy to talk to. Over time we began talking on the phone more and more often and for longer periods of time. I continued to deny that anything was happening even though it was apparent to others(Shellie knows this all to well).

One evening, Brian and I sat on his couch watching my favorite movie, 'Like Water for Chocolate'. When the movie was over, to my surprise, Brian called me a liar and threw me out of his apartment! He told me that I liked him and lied to him by not telling him.(I told him during a previous conversation that if I ever changed my mind about being interested in him, I'd let him know.) He said that he was not going to continue to talk to me on the phone...hang out with me...or allow me to lean on him, if I could not admit the truth; therefore our relationship was over.

Being the stubborn woman that I so often am, I sat in my car outside his apartment for a long time considering whether or not I wanted to throw this opportunity away. I tried to turn on the car and drive away, but I could not do it! I knew that if I left, I would be throwing away one of the most precious relationships I'd ever have.

I went upstairs, threw his roommate out of their apartment---sorry Myon---and made the necessary confessions. Needless to say, it was one of the smartest things I've done, and one of the greatest things I've ever risked my heart, emotions, and vulnerability for!

So, for all the ladies who are like I was: controlling, stubborn, and down right SCARED to trust your heart totally and completely in someone else's care, take a risk: IT IS WORTH IT!”

What she loves about his mind: Brian is one of the smartest people I know. He is wise and God has gifted him with discernment. My mom even says,"Ask Brian what he thinks about it; he has good insight.

What she loves about his body: The way my head fits perfectly under his arm when snuggling...the way his heartbeat doubles when I lay on his chest...and his hands. Thank you God for B's hands. Hallelujah!!

What she loves about his spirit: He listens to the Holy Spirit.

Marcella's advice to single women about marriage:

“Pray. DON'T RUSH. Wait on God. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Don't search for him; let him search for you. Just because he wants you, looks good, and has what you think you need, that doesn't mean God wants him for you! Finally, be the wife God has called you to be right now, while you are single. He has a plan for you---a purpose for you to fulfill. Don't get so caught up in the future and what God is going to do for you, that you miss what He is doing for you right now and what He wants you to do for Him.

I Corinthians 2: 6-10 (Message) says, “We, of course, have plenty of wisdom to pass on to you once you get your feet on firm spiritual ground, but it's not popular wisdom, the fashionable wisdom of high-priced experts that will be out-of-date in a year or so. God's wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of his purposes. You don't find it lying around on the surface. It's not the latest message, but more like the oldest—what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene. The experts of our day haven't a clue about what this eternal plan is. If they had, they wouldn't have killed the Master of the God-designed life on a cross. That's why we have this Scripture text:
No one's ever seen or heard anything like this,
Never so much as imagined anything quite like it—
What God has arranged for those who love him.
But you've seen and heard it because God, by his Spirit, has brought it all out into the open before you.”

(Side note: I added the bold.)

Stracee Speaks On How She Knew

2009-01-31T21:11:00.003-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: August 15, 1996

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“Even as a young girl, I had aspirations of being a great wife and mother. Don't misunderstand, I had educational and career-oriented goals as well...but having a solid family has always been important to me. So, when I prayed to God about who my husband would be, I knew he had to have the same beliefs in God, family, and marriage.

When I met my husband, I did not immediately think he was the one. I actually thought he was pretending to be someone he was not. I thought , 'He's good looking, he's nice, but I'm sure there's a fool in there somewhere.' Well, he may drive me crazy sometimes, but he is definitely no fool.

A few days before I met him, I had a dream that I was getting married but I could not see the groom's face. I never really thought much about that dream until later on in our relationship. It was going to take more than a dream for me to know. For me, I knew he would be my husband when I saw him interact with my family. I come from a highly maternal family which can breed a struggle for control. He was great with them. He got along well with my parents, but it was how my grandmother discerned him that made me take a realistic look at who he was and who he could be.

My grandmother passed away in 1995, but she always spoke highly of my husband and called him 'Son'. My grandmother was always kind to everyone, but she did not invite everyone into our family circle. This was definitely a privilege. From that point, I paid more attention to what God and family meant to him. It was then that I saw we had the same beliefs.

Now, did we move in God's timing? No, and we have had to go through and overcome avoidable hardship because of that, but at the end of the day, we share the same beliefs. We stand on the same foundation...we believe we must operate in the principles of God...we cannot stop communicating no matter what...oh, and laughter is critical.”

What she loves about his mind: He is a critical thinker. He says the most profound things. I don't think he knows the depth of his intellect.

What she loves about his body: His hands are soothing like a hot cup of tea on a cold rainy day. They calm me and can heal the deepest sense of hurt. I also love his lips. They are just plain beautiful!

What she loves about his spirit: He is so very generous. He will literally give you the shirt off his back.

Stracee's advice to single women about marriage:

“Three things my grandmother used to say to me were 'Talk sweet, look nice, and don't spend up all his money'. I took these to heart while dating and especially in my marriage. Ladies, it is important to just be nice. I come across so many women with bad attitudes and backbiting spirits. It is very unbecoming and attracts confusion. No man wants to be around that. I believe it talks in Proverbs of sweet words being healing to the bones. Being kind and genuinely complimenting your mate does so much for him in the natural and in the spiritual realm.

Don't let yourself go. Look nice. I believe this is self-explanatory.

Lastly, a broke man is never satisfied and a man that feels like your ATM will eventually become disengaged and resentful. One more thing: Get to know your mate's family. Listen to family stories and what they say your mate was like growing up. Watch how he interacts with his family. This will give you insight into what characteristics your mate has and has the potential to show.”

Ainsley Speaks On How She Knew

2009-01-30T07:22:00.004-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: December 29, 2005

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“In February 2002, I was working at a local real estate company and we had just hired a technology vendor from Minnesota. We had numerous problems with their product during the initial stages of implementation and I was given the task of working with their customer service department to resolve issues as they cropped up. After some weeks of this, the vendor decided to assign us one particular customer service rep that would deal exclusively with us, and that rep's name was David McDougal.

So on a nearly daily basis, I would call with a long list of issues that needed to be resolved. During these long phone conversations, at some point David and I would get into 'Hey, how is your day going?"'etc., etc. As the months progressed, we were becoming closer friends---calling each other on the weekends to say 'Hi', and chatting on the way home from work by cell phone. For my own part, I had no idea what to do about this guy because he lived so far away and I could not see anything happening between us. All I knew was that I felt so incredibly close to him and we talked about EVERYTHING. Our conversations were so natural and easy --- it was an almost unreal feeling because I could never have imagined such a relationship.

Regardless, I was determined not to get overly-emotional because I was too busy living my life and building my business to be distracted by some guy! There was even this three week period where he avoided talking to me for no reason in the fall of 2002.

In January 2003, there was an opportunity for David to look at a job here in the DC area. The real estate company I was working for was looking to expand their IT department and they flew him out here that month for an interview. I still remember picking him up at National Airport on Friday night (where we saw each other in person for the first time) and I thought, 'Wow! He is even taller than I thought, but very cute!' Even then, I fought my feelings and was determined to keep it a relaxed weekend for his interview.

To keep a long story short, they hired him, and on April 1, 2003 he started the job.

Over the next five months we grew closer and closer as friends. David always had this habit of saying, 'Well, when we are dating…' And my reply was always, 'We are NOT dating!' However, he was relentless in pursuing me.

Eventually I gave in and on September 1, 2003 it became official ---we were dating. I remember calling my friend, Vika to tell her we were officially dating, and her only reply was, 'You do realize that you are the last person to know that, right?' Apparently everyone else already knew my heart.

Ever since then, we have been growing and developing as a couple in some of the most incredible ways. I can honestly say that in all the romance novels I ever read as a girl, I hoped and dreamed of finding a man that was a real man. And here he is ...ALL MAN and completely wonderful. Living proof that love waits!”

What she loves about his mind: I love my husband's mind because he is always thinking about me and our marriage. He listens to what I say, considers it carefully, and then teaches me to look at a situation from a perspective I had not considered. He loves me where I am - body, mind, spirit, attitude - and he sees the potential in who I can be for God, as his wife, and as a friend to others. He believes in me when I lose patience with myself, and he reminds me that this life is not a sprint, it's a marathon. There is a great lesson in the way he considers our marriage in all ways. His servant attitude reminds me that paying attention to your spouse, in all ways great or small, is an important step towards having a long, happy and God-honoring marriage.

What she loves about his body: My husband's is 6-feet, 8-inches tall and ALL man! I could go on detailing the other details about his body that are sexy, but those aren't the really important things you should know about his body. If you examine the Bible passage detailing how God made us in his image, you will understand all you need to know about David. My favorite part? His hands. David's hands are very large and although he could easily 'palm' a basketball - he uses his hands in the most sensitive and tender ways. Almost everywhere we go together we hold hands, and those large hands that could easily hurt me, are tender and loving instead. Having been through a relationship where that was not the case, a girl can really value the innate tenderness in a man. Don't get me wrong, he is a strong man - in his character, personality, mind and spirit. But his "instinctual" tenderness - when he holds my hand...or strokes my hair when I'm sick...or the way he puts his hand on the small of my back to guide me through a door he's just opened. All these little things add up to a portrait of the man.

What she loves about his spirit: I keep a journal of all the things I love about my husband, and to be honest most of them involve his "spirit" in one way or another. The number one item? He loves God, more than he loves me. And THAT is exactly how it should be. There are many others items on the list such as:

He doesn't make an important decision without first asking for the Lord's guidance.
He doesn't make excuses for himself (or allow me to make excuses, either) when he forgets to spend time in God's Word.
He enjoys talking to others about God, and he is gifted with tremendous patience for those who do not see the Truth.

I could go on, but I might run out of space here. One last thing worth sharing about David's spirit. In a nutshell, he grew up without a father. There are a lot of boys who could make excuses based on their past. Not David. He was truly a man, and accepted his responsibility as the spiritual leader of our family without excuse. His role and responsibility has always been of premium importance to him, and he has never let anything from his past hold him back from fulfilling his duty as God intended in our marriage.

Ainsley's advice to single women about marriage:

“Before meeting David, I did not date anyone for six years because I came to the conclusion that if I was going to ever find the right person that God was going to have to make it clear to me before I dated again. In fact, let me explain something here: I have a VERY strong personality... highly opinionated, outgoing personality and quite frankly, that can be very intimidating to guys.

Knowing my strong personality meant that I had to marry someone who was equally strong, I started praying that God would bring a strong man into my life. But God decided I needed some pruning and shaping instead. So for six years I focused on my own spiritual walk, and God taught me to be strong in a different way. Now, it would be a lie if I told you I was a good student of the Lord, but eventually I learned to focus less on guys and more on God. Let's say that the Lord and I came to an 'agreement' that I wasn't going to pay attention to the opposite sex, and He was going to 'knock me upside the head' when I was supposed to pay attention to a guy. Believe it or not, it worked!

There is so much advice I can give to single women, but one of the most important lessons I learned was to prioritize God before earthly things. Ultimately, a spouse is someone that God will choose for you, that perfect person who does make you feel complete, but who also wants more for you than you might want for yourself. If you wait, and let God choose that man, you will never be disappointed. It was so clear to me when David came into my life that he was meant to play an important role. The almost magnetic attraction - both mind and body - was something I had never before experienced. And I could have never dreamed that God would give me such an incredible man. David was worth waiting for, and I'm glad I didn't settle for someone that I thought was right. God knew better!”

David Speaks On How He Knew

2009-01-30T07:05:00.003-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: December 29, 2005

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“We met over the Internet.

Actually we met through work, but never in person for the first 18 months. The FIRST phone call, I turned to my boss and told him that I just met the women I was going to marry. I lived in MN and was she in VA at the time. I had never seen a picture, or anything else. I just knew.

The only reason I didn't talk to her for three weeks in the fall of 2002 was because I was realizing I loved her and we had never even met! You can't blame a guy for being a bit scared by that.

I remember the first time we met was when she picked me up at the airport. I said to myself, 'Wow! This is the woman I am going to marry!'”

What he loves about her mind: She is my completion in all things. All the talents that I have she does not, and vice versa. We are the perfect compliment to each other. She is able to juggle events, and people that I can only stand in awe of.

What he loves about her body: Well, enough said... she is GORGEOUS. I love that she is happy with herself, but always wanting to improve each day on herself.

What he loves about her spirit: She encourages me all the time to take the leadership role in our relationship, and follow my GODLY calling in life. Her spirit is kind, yet direct. She is what I need in every circumstance.

David's advice to single men about marriage:

“Persistence is virtue that women adore and cherish. If you know the feeling is mutual, show and prove it daily. Just like your walk with GOD is where he is pursuing you daily, you need to pursue your WIFE (or future wife)...and it does not stop at the altar!”

Jon Speaks On How He Knew

2009-01-29T23:20:00.003-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: November 14, 2005

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“It was only few weeks into my freshman year at college when I was introduced to a cute and 'stylishly loud' sophomore, who is now the woman that I am married to. Although at that time, marriage was quite a long shot...especially with this particular woman. Let’s just say that the negative impressions that we perceived of each other overshadowed any positive qualities that were present upon our first meeting. Despite that day, we eventually managed to have a conversation where I realized that she wasn’t this snobby, big-headed sophomore and she learned that my southern charm was what I was raised with and didn’t necessarily mean that I wanted to jump everything in a skirt.

The knowledge of me knowing that this relationship was a special one came after our first winter break apart from each other. We had only been dating a few months. It was the first time that we had seen each other in a month. For the entire eight hours driving back to school, I was bragging to my dad about this really hip girl that I had been kickin' it with, and how he had to meet her. I never would’ve guessed that she was going to break-up with me before I could even introduce the two of them.

Over the next few months, my then ex would reach out to me in hopes of having some type of a 'buddy buddy' relationship. That definitely wasn’t what I wanted from her. I already had enough buddies. Eventually, I explained that my feelings could not be suppressed under a false relationship based on us just being friends and that I wanted more than that. Fortunately, the one and only time that we had that conversation, it seemed to strike a nerve with her. Soon after that, we began dating again and the rest is history.

Somewhere during that interim period of our relationship, I knew that even if we did not get back together, how unlikely it would be for me to meet another woman as beautiful, unique, and spiritually alive as she. And if she were to give me another shot, I had to work it.

Even including our first introduction to one another, there has never been an awkward moment of any kind. Almost as if we had known each other during another lifetime. On a level much deeper than the physical, we share a connection that has always been there from the beginning.”

What he loves about her mind: I love that her thought process is everything mine is not. When I’m thinking too deep, she’s thinking just the opposite. When I’m over-thinking, she’s got it figured out with simple problem solving.

What he loves about her body: This is definitely a two-fold answer. It has to be a toss up between her skin and her eyes. Fortunately, her skin doesn’t taste as chocolate-like as it looks and feels. If so, she’d probably wake up with teeth marks on her legs every morning. I love her eyes because they portray every feeling and emotion that she has. I learn how to please her by observing the messages that they convey.

What he loves about her spirit: Her spirit is loving, open, and most importantly, honest. She has a honest truthfulness with her spirit that never has a selfish motive. She is always looking to love the next person.

Jon's advice to single men about marriage:

"Know that every moment in life counts. Spend these moments productively, making the best of every hour that you have been given. Know that you’re not successful until your life impacts others positively. Treat and address every woman with the admiration and respect that you have and want for your own mother.”

Brandi Speaks On How She Knew

2009-01-29T22:53:00.003-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: November 14, 2005

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“I met Jon my sophomore year of college. I have to say I was not interested. I just wasn’t. I was finished with dating---getting involved and then 'practicing divorce'. Just for me personally, I stopped looking. I wanted the next guy that I dated to be the one. Now, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like I was on a wild dating spree before because the truth is I had only dated one guy seriously. But, the emotional guessing games and drama had me over it (dating). I learn quick.

Anyhoo, I met Jon and he just was something different. It kind of threw me off a bit. He was so cool and calm...something that I needed. And conversations with him were so easy. In fact, there was never an awkward moment between us. Even when we had our first conversation about 'us'. I felt more at home with him than I had felt with people I had known my entire life.

We started dating. Things were great. So great, that I broke up with him. I was not used to being in a relationship with someone who was so transparent about his feelings towards me. He was so honest about his feelings towards me...and, so clear about his feelings towards me. It freaked me out. I had never been shown this kind of love. He was so honest without any selfish motives. He just loved ME.

But here is the weird part: Even though I broke up with him, I still wanted to be around him. I didn’t know why. I just did. So one Saturday morning, I randomly gave him a call. Not about anything in particular. Again, I just wanted to be around him...talk to him...whatever. So we talked . Of course I start talking about something trivial like the weather or music (anything so I could here his calm and secure voice) and he starts to express to me how it is hard for him to carry on this 'buddy buddy' relationship.(He saw me as his wife, not just his buddy. He liked me, but most importantly he loved me.) And that’s when I knew that Jon was the one for me.

Even though I had broken up with him for no reason other than him making me happy, he still was jut just as honest about his love towards me. He was still just as clear. And he was most impressively vulnerable, without fear of getting hurt all over again. He did not change. Strong, unshaken, and still calm. I love him.”

What she loves about his mind: I love the way he thinks. He always knows what to say. Under pressure, he can still think clearly.

What she loves about his body: I love his arms. I love to snuggle. And I feel so secure physically and spiritually in his arms. I feel free to be vulnerable without any fear of manipulation. I love his hands because they are rough and manly. No manicure here.

What she loves about his spirit: I love the fact that my husband is so spiritually free. Anyone, who knows him knows that Jon is so honest. He never feels the need to be something he is not, or do something just to impress. He is free in his Creator.

Brandi's advice to single women about marriage:

"My advice to all my single ladies (Beyonce's theme song in the back—-sorry).

Don’t look. Be open. Get in tuned with yourself and your Creator. God knows what you need and really want.”

Joey Speaks On How He Knew

2009-01-29T21:49:00.004-06:00

Wedding Anniversary Date: December 10, 2000

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“I remember the first time I saw my wife, my best friend worked in the same office she did and was going to set us up on a date. I had just come back from playing golf and walked into the office and and my best friend had her come in to talk to him just so I could see her. She had no idea who I was....yet. I had not dated or gone on any dates really for over four years due to the fact that my last ex-girlfriend had cheated on me for the 2nd time and told me this on our four-year anniversary. Needless to say, it took a long time to get over it and so I still honestly was not looking when my best friend told me about his co-worker---my future wife.

I remember the first time I saw her and thought 'Well, guess the date won't happen...she's way out of my league'. She had long hair, beautiful eyes, and looked like a younger Dana Delaney, who I find to be HAWT!! So I thought 'Well, I'll at least show her a good time and see how it goes.'

So we went on our blind date---April 1st of all days---and it was a group date to the Old Spaghetti Factory. I met her there and the rest of her co-workers, including my best friend and his wife, met there as well and we ate and talked. Later, we played laser tag and then I walked her back to her car and asked if I could call her again. I took it slow since I didn't want to ruin it and plus didn't think she was interested in me.

I called her over the next couple days and then we went out several times. We basically ended up inseparable. I was in college and living with my parents to save money, and she was working and living with her parents to save money. So either I would go over to her house or she would come over to mine and we pretty much became inseparable. Neither of us had mentioned marriage to the other, but both sets of parents kept asking us when we were going to get engaged.

Now mind you we met in April, and by August or in September of that same year we had set our wedding date for that December. Now I know God had His hand in it, because she is way out of my league by outer beauty and more importantly inner beauty. I am not the most poetic, not the most eloquent, not the most romantic, but I am the luckiest man alive to have married my dream girl. God truly works in mysterious ways. We will have now been married nine years this December and have three beautiful children.”

What he loves about her mind: When it comes to my wife's mind, what I find so attractive is she's got fight, she's independent, she doesn't hold back what she thinks, she's her own person, her own woman, and that is so sexy.

What he loves about her body: My first attraction to my wife was of course her beauty. She looked at me with her big almond shaped eyes, and sparkling smile and my heart jumped...then sank, because like I said before, she was so beautiful that I knew I had no chance. But she saw something in me I didn't.

What he loves about her spirit: From what I saw where she was walking with God to where she is now is just amazing. I had grown up in the Church and thought I was a good Christian. She never claimed to be in any church, yet she showed me a better example of what a Christian is than I had seen in anyone I dated. She was so caring, responsible, loving...the list could go on. And now that she is not only my wife, my lover, but the mother of my children, there is nothing that shows you more about a person than how they treat their children and the love she shows our children to me is a clear example of how God's love is toward us: unconditional.

Joey's advice to single men about marriage:

"First off let me state that the advice I would give to a single guy is coming from a guy that was still a virgin by choice up until age 25 when I married my wife. Marriage and sex to me were both sacred and for me to have sex just to have sex or just to satisfy a need/want was not something I was going to let myself do. In today's world, that may sound prudish or be laughed at, and even in my own church of peers that were my same age, I'm sure I would have been more of the exception than the rule. However, it was both a personal choice for me physically and spiritually.

Now let me get to the advice I would give a single man from a Christian perspective. Trust in God, don't get discouraged if you are alone. God does have a plan for you and wants what is best for you. I firmly believe God will lead you to the one He knows you are the best match for. Notice I didn't say perfect, because no matter how great any marriage is, there will be rough spots, hard times in some area of your marriage. But a marriage built on love, respect and the knowledge of knowing that no matter what happens we are in this together. A marriage built on that foundation is nearly impossible to break.”