Ainsley Speaks On How She Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: December 29, 2005

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“In February 2002, I was working at a local real estate company and we had just hired a technology vendor from Minnesota. We had numerous problems with their product during the initial stages of implementation and I was given the task of working with their customer service department to resolve issues as they cropped up. After some weeks of this, the vendor decided to assign us one particular customer service rep that would deal exclusively with us, and that rep's name was David McDougal.

So on a nearly daily basis, I would call with a long list of issues that needed to be resolved. During these long phone conversations, at some point David and I would get into 'Hey, how is your day going?"'etc., etc. As the months progressed, we were becoming closer friends---calling each other on the weekends to say 'Hi', and chatting on the way home from work by cell phone. For my own part, I had no idea what to do about this guy because he lived so far away and I could not see anything happening between us. All I knew was that I felt so incredibly close to him and we talked about EVERYTHING. Our conversations were so natural and easy --- it was an almost unreal feeling because I could never have imagined such a relationship.

Regardless, I was determined not to get overly-emotional because I was too busy living my life and building my business to be distracted by some guy! There was even this three week period where he avoided talking to me for no reason in the fall of 2002.

In January 2003, there was an opportunity for David to look at a job here in the DC area. The real estate company I was working for was looking to expand their IT department and they flew him out here that month for an interview. I still remember picking him up at National Airport on Friday night (where we saw each other in person for the first time) and I thought, 'Wow! He is even taller than I thought, but very cute!' Even then, I fought my feelings and was determined to keep it a relaxed weekend for his interview.

To keep a long story short, they hired him, and on April 1, 2003 he started the job.

Over the next five months we grew closer and closer as friends. David always had this habit of saying, 'Well, when we are dating…' And my reply was always, 'We are NOT dating!' However, he was relentless in pursuing me.

Eventually I gave in and on September 1, 2003 it became official ---we were dating. I remember calling my friend, Vika to tell her we were officially dating, and her only reply was, 'You do realize that you are the last person to know that, right?' Apparently everyone else already knew my heart.

Ever since then, we have been growing and developing as a couple in some of the most incredible ways. I can honestly say that in all the romance novels I ever read as a girl, I hoped and dreamed of finding a man that was a real man. And here he is ...ALL MAN and completely wonderful. Living proof that love waits!”

What she loves about his mind: I love my husband's mind because he is always thinking about me and our marriage. He listens to what I say, considers it carefully, and then teaches me to look at a situation from a perspective I had not considered. He loves me where I am - body, mind, spirit, attitude - and he sees the potential in who I can be for God, as his wife, and as a friend to others. He believes in me when I lose patience with myself, and he reminds me that this life is not a sprint, it's a marathon. There is a great lesson in the way he considers our marriage in all ways. His servant attitude reminds me that paying attention to your spouse, in all ways great or small, is an important step towards having a long, happy and God-honoring marriage.

What she loves about his body: My husband's is 6-feet, 8-inches tall and ALL man! I could go on detailing the other details about his body that are sexy, but those aren't the really important things you should know about his body. If you examine the Bible passage detailing how God made us in his image, you will understand all you need to know about David. My favorite part? His hands. David's hands are very large and although he could easily 'palm' a basketball - he uses his hands in the most sensitive and tender ways. Almost everywhere we go together we hold hands, and those large hands that could easily hurt me, are tender and loving instead. Having been through a relationship where that was not the case, a girl can really value the innate tenderness in a man. Don't get me wrong, he is a strong man - in his character, personality, mind and spirit. But his "instinctual" tenderness - when he holds my hand...or strokes my hair when I'm sick...or the way he puts his hand on the small of my back to guide me through a door he's just opened. All these little things add up to a portrait of the man.

What she loves about his spirit: I keep a journal of all the things I love about my husband, and to be honest most of them involve his "spirit" in one way or another. The number one item? He loves God, more than he loves me. And THAT is exactly how it should be. There are many others items on the list such as:

• He doesn't make an important decision without first asking for the Lord's guidance.
• He doesn't make excuses for himself (or allow me to make excuses, either) when he forgets to spend time in God's Word.
• He enjoys talking to others about God, and he is gifted with tremendous patience for those who do not see the Truth.

I could go on, but I might run out of space here. One last thing worth sharing about David's spirit. In a nutshell, he grew up without a father. There are a lot of boys who could make excuses based on their past. Not David. He was truly a man, and accepted his responsibility as the spiritual leader of our family without excuse. His role and responsibility has always been of premium importance to him, and he has never let anything from his past hold him back from fulfilling his duty as God intended in our marriage.

Ainsley's advice to single women about marriage:

“Before meeting David, I did not date anyone for six years because I came to the conclusion that if I was going to ever find the right person that God was going to have to make it clear to me before I dated again. In fact, let me explain something here: I have a VERY strong personality... highly opinionated, outgoing personality and quite frankly, that can be very intimidating to guys.

Knowing my strong personality meant that I had to marry someone who was equally strong, I started praying that God would bring a strong man into my life. But God decided I needed some pruning and shaping instead. So for six years I focused on my own spiritual walk, and God taught me to be strong in a different way. Now, it would be a lie if I told you I was a good student of the Lord, but eventually I learned to focus less on guys and more on God. Let's say that the Lord and I came to an 'agreement' that I wasn't going to pay attention to the opposite sex, and He was going to 'knock me upside the head' when I was supposed to pay attention to a guy. Believe it or not, it worked!

There is so much advice I can give to single women, but one of the most important lessons I learned was to prioritize God before earthly things. Ultimately, a spouse is someone that God will choose for you, that perfect person who does make you feel complete, but who also wants more for you than you might want for yourself. If you wait, and let God choose that man, you will never be disappointed. It was so clear to me when David came into my life that he was meant to play an important role. The almost magnetic attraction - both mind and body - was something I had never before experienced. And I could have never dreamed that God would give me such an incredible man. David was worth waiting for, and I'm glad I didn't settle for someone that I thought was right. God knew better!”