J Speaks On How He Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: October 14, 2006

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“There was not one single thing that led me to know that Tiffany would become my wife. It was really a combination of things. It was part romanticism...part spirituality...part 'time put in'... and part real life/adult decision making.

I met Tiff at MTSU in 2000 and I immediately noticed that she was different. It seemed that her level of class and maturity was higher than most college girls that I encountered. Yet, she was still down to earth and had great sense of humor. She was the 'girl you take home to momma', so my intentions were somewhat serious from the jump. I even called my mom and told her that I found my wife. I’d be lying if I said that this was some revelation from God, or some deep mysterious feeling in my gut. I was simply reacting to the potential. Dating a woman like Tiffany was a rare opportunity that a lot of fellas don’t get in college, so I hoped to make the best of it. I will say, however, that about two or three weeks into our dating, I had a dream of our wedding---but it didn’t seem like a 'vision from the Lord'. I thought that it was amusing, but I didn’t put too much stake into it.

Around the same time that Tiffany and I started dating, I began to really take my spiritual life seriously. We started attending church together and began to make God a part of our regular conversation. In April of 2001 ,I made the decision to be baptized, and she and I discussed it after church. She began to tell me how it was so important to her that I grow in God and that she wanted to make sure she did her part to help me. At that moment it became more than 'dating the chick you marry' girl on the yard. That conversation changed my view of her and us completely. It revealed a different kind of love; a love that was far superior to what I’d hear in songs or see in movies. It was really something special. That was definitely a clue that she could be the one. We casually spoke about getting married one day, but honestly, we were 19-years-old and far too immature to be serious. So we continued to date throughout college.

As we continued to date, problems arose. We had some break-ups and make-ups, like most serious relationships. We probably broke up and got back together about three times over the course of six years. The last break up, however, was different. I thought it was officially the end. I took down pictures, and put away love letters, but I was still hoping to mend what we had.

Now most guys, single and free, would have probably used this as an opportunity to 'play the field' again, but it was different for me. Tiffany left an impression on me. Being with her made me want to continue to grow. I realized that I found a woman who inspired me to be a better man than I was. That was it! I knew that if we got back together it would be forever. We did, and it ended being for the long hall.

Now, before you say 'Awwwh, what a fairytale ending', let me stop you. It still took A WHOLE LOT of praying, discussion, and some serious thought before we made THE decision. Marriage is not a game. It is not a decision to be taken lightly. We said that if we were going to do it, we were going to do it FOR REAL!! It was going to be FOREVER, no matter what! So with all of the personal revelations, prophetic words, epiphanies, romantic moments, and mushy stuff, it still came down to a decision to honor our vows TIL DEATH!”

What he loves about her mind: She is FAR more creative than she gives herself credit. From songwriting...to poetry...to ideas for ministry and our marriage, she oozes masterful creativity. Also, she is one of the most selfless and giving individuals I know. In her mind, the well-being of others is far more important than her own.

What he loves about her body: Simply stated: My wife is BAD! Her body is feminine and curvy…THANK YOU, JESUS! But, before I go any further, the Bible says that the bedroom is undefiled. Therefore, all other comments about my wife’s body can only be discussed in our bedroom, between each other. Sorry!

What he loves about her spirit: More than anything else, my wife loves God and desires to grow closer to Him daily. This love and yearning for God has created great power and faith in her. There is an awesome woman of God inside of Tiffany---a woman that God has created to bless so many people...and a woman that I feel so privileged to share my life with.

J's advice to single men about marriage:

"Well, to those of you who think that getting married means giving up your freedom, and 'messing up a good thing', you have no idea how wrong you are. There is nothing more satisfying mentally, spiritually, AND sexually than having a lover, a best friend, a homie, and a companion to be committed and vowed to you for life. You can’t look at marriage as 'the end' or as losing something. Marriage is the beginning of a new life and the gaining of a critical component to being who God has created you to be.

Now, I’m not saying that everybody is called to be married, but to those that are—and you know who you are—trust me, your life will be incomplete without your mate. God said that Adam needed a helpmeet', which means that Eve was created to 'help' Adam 'meet' his purpose and destiny in life. And on a side/real talk note, I don’t care how many women you have or how much you 'slang that thing', you ain’t a real man until you can love, cover, and satisfy a woman for her entire life... PERIOD!”