Gail Speaks On How She Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: August and December 1996

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“I was given a birthday gift at a surprise birthday in the form of a new Bible in 1991 and on the inside cover, I penned a couple of notes/items regarding that 'If I would ever enter a married relationship again, five items to be exact that I would hope, like and pray for to be present/show up in a future mate: 1) spiritually mature 2) sense of family 3)appreciation of the gift of friendship and have his own friends 4) sense of humor 5) and PLEASE LORD, a Black man with a J.O.B. I suppose looking back now, I made a prayer request and maybe for the first time in my life, I waited for that particular answer...

I closed that Bible and referred to it a couple times during those years...but not often. I kinda forgot about the list until I was invited to go to South Africa on work-related business and met my future husband-friend Victor at the end of 1994, worked with him for two years on a music project, and in that time of doing my work first, I got to see his heart, his people skills,the way he related to those working with him...his kind-yet-firm approach to life in general. Our long distance phone conversations relating to work revealed who he was. It was a natural non- threatening progression of two lives coming together...and then one day, I picked up that Bible and as like was turning into interest and interest turned into affection, then when I reviewed the five major points on my list, they were all present and accounted for...and some more besides. ”

What she loves about his mind: Victor is KIND and gracious yet is clear about who he is, allowing him to be true to his personal convictions. He is able to say “No” when no is needed to me and others without a blink of the eye. I just like being in the company of Sibusiso (which means, “blessing”) Victor Masondo. He is my closest friend!

What she loves about his body: I enjoy my husband's smile...his eyes twinkle when he smiles. It's like a warm bath that washes over me. It's comforting and his laugh is from way down deep and fills up an entire room.

What she loves about his spirit: There's a boyish, fun-loving charm about this man of mine that's inviting. I am awed by his relaxed manner with both paupers and kings. There's just something in the way he moves. I believe they call it a principled confidence.

Gail's advice to single women about marriage:

"I believe its so important to not be on the hunt but rather be in the wait...to use the time to getting to know oneself. Mind your own business...take care of yourself....mind, body and soul. THAT cannot be repeated enough. Two halves in this context don't make a whole. One must be whole already, and so the time of singleness that's the time of clearing out, cleaning up and the healing of the past wounds which life brings. If it's not worked on and out NOW in this time of singleness, it will be a constant distraction later---a stumbling block, a hindrance, a delayed 'joy ' tactic which can bring about destruction of self and the one you have prematurely joined your life with.

Oh, and FRIENDSHIP .... the very kind which includes trust, honesty and openness bathed in truth is a MUST. Friendship (tested by time and circumstances) must be at the top of the list. The natural stuff which friendship is made of.... the kind that allows for mature forgiveness, managed expectations and the listening to by paying attention with the heart and the head! DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS. ”