Chanita Speaks On How She Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: September 27, 2008

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“Rod and I met January 2002 at the University of Arkansas. One night, a friend and I were going to hang out at my apartment. She told me that her brother and his new roommate would also be joining us. I spoke with her brother before they came over and he was telling me about his new roommate (Rod) that just started school at the U of A and he didn't really know a lot of people. So we all hung out that night talking about any and everything forever.

After that day, we continued to see each other around campus. We would do our cordial 'hellos' and keep walking. One day we got on the same bus to leave campus. Again, we did our usual hellos, but I sat in the back of the bus and he sat in the front. When we reached our stop, he exited the bus from the front and I exited the bus from the back. As I was walking towards the front of the bus to cross the street, he about bumped into me. As I was saying 'Excuse me', he then asked me for my number. I gave it to him.

After a few days, he called and left a message with my roommate. When he called he asked for Chiquita. Yes, he said my name wrong which should have made me not want to talk to him, but I returned his phone call and you guessed it... he wasn't there. I left a message for him with his roommate (my friend's brother). When we finally got up with each other we took to each other really fast. We began to hang out more and more and really became attached. After a year of being friends, we finally became a couple. At that point, we were going in two different directions. I was seeking to deepen my relationship with God and he was not. God began speaking to me about our relationship, which lead to our breakup shortly after a month.

Throughout the years, we continued to remain friends. We dated other people but always had a feeling that we should be together. At times we would go months without talking to each other, but at the moment we talked, it seemed that we never missed a beat.

It was so easy to talk to each other. After years, we began talking more and more. April 2007 he began to get serious about the things of God. Separately we began seeking God about our feelings towards each other and what we should do about them. After much searching, God instructed both of us to begin dating again and on June 8, 2007 we became a couple and have been doing great every since. This time around everything has come into sync. So on March 8, 2008 we became engaged!”

What she loves about his mind: He has the ability to look objectively at any situation. I value his opinions.

What she loves about his body: He is bowlegged and has a broad chest. I love the facial expressions he makes when he is trying to make me laugh.

What she loves about his spirit: He is very passionate about family, life and sports. I love his enthusiasm. It draws me to become greater.

Chanita's advice to single women about marriage:

"If you live a life pleasing to the Lord do not DATE anyone who isn't. Do not be unequally joked. You can not make him want Yeshua or Yahweh. Make a stand for what you believe. Watch his actions to see if his words line up with them.

Learn to laugh and have fun everyday. Nothing in life is that serious, especially since we have the Almighty Yahweh on our side. Laugh it off and don't become stressed.

Do not be in a rush to get married or find that special someone. Live your life very open. Meaning that you are not close-minded towards how you will meet and when you will meet your significant other. Do not blow people off unless they are bring torment into your life.

Be comfortable being Ms. (your last name). Be comfortable in your own skin. Take some time to be alone. So many times we are always booed up. It's OK to be single. If a woman is jumping from man to man (not necessarily sex) then there is a void that needs to be filled and God is calling on her to be intimate with HIM. Understand who you are in Christ. Who God is calling you to be.

Pray for the spirit of discernment so that you will know what to keep in your life and what to throw away.

Get your finances in order. Develop a plan to get out of debt, purchase a home and working towards a stable career. Be able to make money. One thing the Lord told me was that my husband was not brought to me so that he could support me (financially). God said that it was his job to support me in that way and that I shouldn't totally depend on him for the things I needed. Your husband is your partner not your father. OH YEAH, let me say this... you do not have to be totally out of debt or have a house but you have a plan towards how to get there... that's the most important part. You are moving towards something.

Learn how to be transparent with your significant other about your past, present, future aspirations, fears, etc. Communication is so important and keeping secrets is NEVER OK.

Learn when it is appropriate to say something. Ask God when it is a good time to bring something up. Your timing isn't always the best timing no matter how important it is. You do not always have to be right. Even if you are right and he doesn't see it your way ask God to reveal it to him instead of having a huge argument about it. What you will see is that you can have a conversation about it without arguing.”