Mandy Speaks On How She Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: June 14, 2008

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“We had been friends for a couple years, and over that time , our friendship had grown. We had some great conversations and I had been noticing things that I appreciated about him. He has a servant's heart, and he was always the only person on his team loading and unloading bags and mats and helping out where his teammates would not.

As time passed and our relationship got deeper, I realized that when we didn't talk for whatever reason, I missed it. It was a long distance relationship and if I had not gotten an email or phone call in a week, I missed our conversations. I still wasn't sure it was a friendship I wanted to risk by seeing if there was anything more, and I wasn't sure I was attracted to him in that way.

One weekend, I was in the area visiting some friends and I stopped by to see him. I hugged him hello/ goodbye like I do all of my friends, and during our hug I thought he smelled my hair, which introduced the idea that maybe he was secretly interested as well. When we did start talking about the possibility of something more and how we felt about it, he initiated a series of 'major issues' conversations where we discussed things that might not usually come up quickly or so easily to see if either one of us had a major deal-breaking problem with the other's beliefs, attitudes, and such. This was all before he officially asked me to start dating because neither one of us wanted to date if the end goal in mind was not marriage at some point.

When he first starting talking about marriage in a concrete (and relatively quickly) time line, I'll admit I got nervous and had my doubts for a while. He agreed to drop the conversation for a little while until I was comfortable with it...I was sure and comfortable a couple months later. We dated for a year-and-a-half before we got married, and during that time I saw qualities in him both in what he already brought to the table and in the way he complemented me that eventually made me realize that he was the one for me. One of the main things was our security in the relationship that we were both always real with each other and never acted out of fear that one might break up with the other over things. It was like a peaceful belief that we were acting within God's providence...that we should not be worried about screwing things up.”

What she loves about his mind: He is very inquisitive--constantly thinking and calculating through things. I tend to be more impulsive and he balances me out nicely. Sometimes our differences are irritating, but I appreciate them always.

What she loves about his body: I love his arms. They are big and muscular and when he holds me I feel so safe and secure.

What she loves about his spirit: I love his spirit of leadership and servanthood. He will often be the one to initiate prayer, and is always willing to put another's needs before himself. He has a quiet way of leading that inspires people to be better without outright asking them to.

Mandy's advice to single women about marriage:

"Make a list of what you are looking for in a mate. You can add to it as you feel led, but keep it going. Make your list now and stick to it. Put it somewhere you can see it easily and other people can't. I put mine in the back cover of my Bible. It served as a constant reminder of what I was looking for and not to settle for less. Once you have made your list, strive to be that person for someone else. Do the most you can to prepare now to be a husband/wife someone is asking God for, and pray for your list both that you will find that person and that you will have the grace to become those qualities. On the night before my wedding, I gave my list (which I had made over five years before) to my husband and thanked him for being that man.”