Tiff Speaks On How She Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: October 14, 2006

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“Honestly, no one thing determined that he was 'The One'. I’d say, for us it was more like a puzzle---and eventually all the pieces just fit. It’s been about nine years now since the first time I encountered my husband. Little did I know that a series of events over the following six years would lead us to our wedding day.

We were both just freshmen in college when we met, him an 'Army brat' whose family called New Orleans home, and me who grew up on a farm in the country. We both had so much to discover about ourselves and each other. There was an immediate indescribable connection between us….more than physical chemistry; it was as if we had been friends for years. I would say our freshmen year was a year of just pure delight in each other! One thing that I believe was instrumental in our bond was the fact that we found a wonderful church. It helped to ensure that we were surrounded by good people and receiving spiritual enrichment.

There were many turning points and new levels in our relationship. We experienced the ups and downs of college life together. We had a few break-ups and make-ups. We had been together for about four years when I finally told him about some serious personal baggage I was dealing with. Around that same time, I learned of deeper personal issues that he dealt with. When he knew about the deep inner issues that I struggled with and he didn’t vanish into thin air, I thought, 'Wow, there is something quite unique about him'.

Over the duration of our relationship, we’d been swept up in moments of idealistic, 'movie-like' romance...we’d been given prophetic words about our future marriage...and we’d seen the subtle hints that this was predestined by God. I recall that J even had a dream two weeks into our relationship that we would get married. However, nothing more earnestly illustrated to me that he was 'The One' than when I revealed a not-so-pretty, messed up, far-from-perfect girl and he still saw the God in me. We reached a place of complete transparency which made us totally vulnerable to each other. It took lots of time to build trust, commitment, integrity, maturity and loyalty. Seeing those attributes showed me we could do life together.”

What she loves about his mind: I love that it’s constantly being renewed! That may make sense to Bible readers out there. (Romans 12:2) That was the first scripture he taught at church when he received his license as a minister. I do enjoy his wit, great conversation, and I get a kick out of writing with him, but I really love to see and hear that he’s been spending quality time in the Word of God. He’s an amazing teacher and I get such revelation just listening to him.

What she loves about his body: I love his eyes. I hope our children inherit his hazel eyes. I get as giddy as I did almost nine years ago when I peer into them. Someday, when wrinkles begin to surround them, I’ll look into his 70-year-old eyes and still find the young man I danced with in the middle of my dorm room. I look into his eyes and know I’m where I’m supposed to be.

What she loves about his spirit: He is a spirit that has a soul that lives in a body. I love that this is the part of him that is most like God. I love that his spirit and very being worships God.

Tiff's advice to single women about marriage:

"I made many mistakes when it came to my husband. I had horrible experiences with male role models in my life---including my own father, which led to fears and insecurities in the beginning. I did what I think many women do. I assumed that my husband would in some way disappointment me the same way other men did. I forced my own harsh feelings about myself on him, thinking perhaps I’d push him away…. that he’d never want to be with someone like me. Instead he spoke into me. He spoke the opposite of what I felt…..insecure, miserable, and pitiful. He prayed over me and told me I was valuable, worth so much to God, and fearfully and wonderfully made.

I had an epiphany. J really didn’t deserve to pay for my father’s mistakes. He was not those other men. By no means is he perfect. He still forgets to take out the garbage from time-to-time, but he truly is my best friend. With so few men really stepping up to the plate, I know it’s difficult to be a woman, much less a single woman in today’s society. I would say to single ladies, settle for nothing less than a man who is willing to speak the truth of God’s Word over you, when the enemy keeps planting seeds of doubt in your mind. Settle for nothing less than a man who seriously wants to know God. Maybe if every single woman decided to NEVER settle again, more men of God will start to rise to the challenge.”