Dwayna Speaks On How She Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: September 1, 2007

How she knew her husband was the one for her:

“I knew Bryan was my husband because he was the exact opposite of the knucklehead (note: that is not the word I wanted to use) I previously dated. I was in the midst of a five-year relationship with my first 'love and lover' and I was feeling trapped. I loved him, but he was completely toxic to me. We'd been through so many relationship traumas that there really was no future for us, but I was afraid to let go. I was afraid that he'd leave me and actually do right by the next woman. The thought of that paralyzed me and kept me up at night. He would pick fights with me just so that he could sleep with other people. The worst part ... everyone knew, which made me the dumb chic who dates 'What's his name who slept with fill in the blank'.

Anyway, Bryan and I worked at the same place and he just carried himself with such pride, dignity and ease. You could tell just by looking at him. You know what they say, "Sugar tastes so much better once you've eaten s**t!" (Sorry ... there's no other word for that one :-) I watched him for weeks. He was on my mind day and night. AND everyone I asked about him had such wonderful things to say. I finally got the courage (even though I was still in my other relationship) to ask him out on a date. He said 'yes' and it’s been ... well … magic since that day.

This man feeds my soul. He was immediately interested in getting to know my mind … not my body. He did sweet things ... romantic things ... things you read in books. He cherished me. He nursed my soul back to health. He breathed life into what was dead and he loved what I thought was unlovable about me.

We've been married for just about 16 months now. It’s the wisest decision I've ever made in my life. I chose a partner who sees me. A partner who pushes me to be great. A man who understands that pleasing my body means starting with my mind. He is the definition ...

I sometimes wonder how I found him. I now know he actually was sent to me from God. I prayed for him and God answered. I used to hate that old church call to 'Wait for your husband' or 'God is gonna send you a man'. It used to make me so mad! (LOL) But ... when I was broken and naked in my shower one night I prayed strength to leave my toxic relationship and courage to seek/date a man just like Bryan . Two weeks later he appeared. He was always there before, but for some reason, I could finally see him.

We have a beautiful marriage and I thank God for my life everyday. It feels storybook at times, but I'm wise enough to know that it's just God's divine favor and sweet grace .”

What she loves about his mind: His ability to speak to my soul and awaken such wonderful things in me. I've prospered in my career and in life in general since knowing him. Our relationship has afforded me a freedom I never really knew existed. I am more aware of myself. I have a stronger sense of self and it started with him.

What she loves about his body: His incredibly sexy walk and manly stance. I actually tingle when he walks into a room. Something in my body shouts out! (LOL) In my opinion, he is the epitome of sexiness.

What she loves about his spirit: His kind, moral and strong spirit. He always does the right thing ... even if it's not popular. He knows who he is. He treats people with amazing kindness and love .

Dwayna's advice to single women about marriage:

"Stop being afraid to seek your worth. STOP SETTLING! The man you want exists. He is not without fault and Lord knows he will not be perfect. You should only seek what's perfect for you. Also, be leery of the "outsiders" you allow to advise/take part in your dating process (i.e., girlfriends, co-workers, family, etc). The devil seeks to destroy you by any means necessary and will use whatever entry you allow. Most mean well, but it's God you should seek regarding your partner. You can always trust that his advice is rooted in unconditional love for you.”