Jeb Speaks On How He Knew

Wedding Anniversary Date: May 27, 2007

How he knew his wife was the one for him:

“The first time I saw her I spilled orange juice all over myself. I don’t know if it was her or if it was because I had had very little sleep and was eating breakfast with eleven strangers in a new country. That same weekend I couldn’t stop noticing her especially when she was aggressively rebounding against guys much bigger than her in a game of pick-up basketball. The entire year we were in Argentina together nothing much happened except me watching her from afar knowing I was definitely not her type and still trying to be around her and nice to her whenever I felt safe no one would read into the motives.

When we returned to the states, we both went our own ways. A year later, I somehow ended up spending New Year's at her parent’s house under the guise of making it for a reunion. Oddly, I was the only guy to show up and none of my close friends made it. At the end of the 'reunion', I brought her back to college with me so her parents wouldn’t have to make the eight-hour trip.

Once at the same school, we hung out in separate crowds. She dated the student body president, and I hung around the fringes and dated around. In my mind it wasn’t worth pursuing her. If she happened to fall for a guy like me, it would be a sign that she wasn’t the one. I was not the kind of guy good girls should like. She graduated and left to work and travel the world. I hung around to continue my education.

Five years went by and we exchanged a handful of emails. We even ran in to each other once at church when she was back in the U.S. for meetings, and I happened to be visiting my mother. We hung out for the afternoon, but when it came to making plans for the evening there was some miscommunication and I didn’t see her again for a while.

When I finished my education, I got a job back where I had gone to high school. A few months after moving back, I got an email from her saying she was moving into my old stomping grounds. I was happy to let her know I had just moved back and we lived three miles apart. I thought things were going my way until I found out she was engaged to a guy overseas. That was a nice swift kick in the hiney.

We hung out a couple times and I got back in to my old habit of trying to nonchalantly show up where she was going to be. It was hard, because she always seemed to be doing things all over the place. Every once in while we would hang out in a group, but her roommate was much better at paying attention to me than she was. Needless to say, her roommate and I dated for while, but one weekend on a group camping trip, I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to pay attention to anyone else until I had been officially rejected by her.

As soon as we got back from the camping trip, I broke it off with her roommate and after driving around for an hour or so I headed to her house with fear and trepidation. With a swollen eye from a camping-related infection and a monotone voice revealing my nervousness, I told her how I felt and asked her to please reject me so I could begin getting over her. Unfortunately, she didn’t. She didn’t say much of anything one way or the other. In fact, I don’t know what she said because I was in such a daze. The gist of her response was that there was no way she could date me since I had just broken up with her roommate...yet again, another big swift kick.

For six months, we saw each other now and then on unofficial dates. Finally, right before she was going to head home for Christmas, I leaned over and kissed her as we were saying good-bye. I don’t think she was expecting that. Well, I didn’t get slapped, so we ended up talking on the phone pretty regularly while she was away.

When she got back I finally got the answer I was looking for. YIPPEE! We dated for six months before I proposed. That was less of a surprise for her because her dad let her know I was planning something since I had called to get his consent. (That is not a fun experience, but it is highly recommended for long-term family relations). Due to a number of family-related schedules, we didn’t get married for another year, which was fine. Despite strongly believing that weddings are a waste of money, and a great strain on friends and family, I find they have one redeeming quality: They are an important test of compatibility. I suggest thinking of them as a marriage seminar. The way you handle the drama it brings will give you a good idea of how subsequent drama is going to play out.

Well, over the ten years of this ordeal, I don’t know how many times I reviewed the story of Jacob. At one point I even told myself I was giving this nonsense up if it wasn’t settled after 14 years. Thankfully, it didn’t last that long. We’ve been married close to two years now. Things are going well. The things I loved about her then, I still like. But I’ve found so much more about her to love.”

What he loves about her mind: No matter how focused or stressed she is, when she is listening to me she gives me all of her attention. I’m trying to reciprocate, but I have a long way to go.

What he loves about her body: It’s always been her eyes, and she has great legs too.

What he loves about her spirit: She is the most determined person I know. I love watching her get an idea in her head and not let it go until she’s won. It can be hard to watch sometimes when things aren’t going her way, but she always comes out on top.

Jeb's advice to single men about marriage:

"Be prepared for a complete rearranging of priorities. If you are not willing and able to remove yourself from the center of your universe do not get married. But be advised, you get a much better vantage point when you are not at the center. ”